Intertapes - A weird and kinda magical little project that digitizes old cassette tapes sent to it.

Flatbush Misdemeanors - The creators have put the show up over on Vimeo for everyone to enjoy. You really should watch it. (shout out to Tish for the heads up)

The Year in Charts - The data behind some of the more interesting trends in tech across the planet.

Court Queens - An absolutely gorgeous book by Emma Baccellieri and Jordan Robinson celebrating the storied history of women's hoops, available for pre-order now.

Sounds of the Africa Cup of Nations - The music that permeates the biggest football tournament on the Motherland.

What Does the Census Data Say About “The Lost Generation” - A piece that talks plainly about how the grievences of white dudes are largely just made, but the consequences of their nonsensical backlash is not.

The one year anniversary of Blacksky Algorithms - While centralized corporate social media continues to circle the drain, Blacksky pushes forward into uncharted and exciting territory.

Palestine in Pictures: November 2025 - We must remember what is still happening.

80 Songs Pack - Moonana drops a stunnging collection of free to use video game music for devs, that's on sale of just 10 bones.

Michael B. Jordan, Wunmi Mosaku and Francine Maisler for ‘Sinners’ moderated by Viola Davis - I can't put the impact of this convo into words, so just watch it.

NOOR Gaza Orphan Care Program - The babies need some help.

Spotify swipes former intern's ideas for end of year wrap up experience - Ha, as if I needed another reason to dislike that platform

Questioning AI Resource List - An exhaustive list of resource compiled by michelle peeling back the hype around AI to show the dark reality underneath.

Couple arrested after 'abducting' ICE agents who came to arrest them - LOL, because most heroes don't wear capes and tights.

Thomas Sankara: Daring to Invent a Future Africa - On the anniversary of Thomas Sankara's birthday, Professor Foluke Adebisi reminds us of what a force he was and why he should not be forgetten.

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Pentagon Unveils New GenAI Platform, It Immediately Starts Flagging Pete Hegseth’s War Crimes - I mean... it's not wrong.

What Graham Platner reveals about the US left - A blistering piece exposing the hypocrisy of the leftism in the US.

The hidden Kenyan workers training China’s AI models - How China's tech industry is exploiting workers on the Horn.

5x5 Women's World Cup - The sheer amount of talent makes me want to vomit. Absolutely unbelievable collection of players. US Women's dominance of global hoops doesn't look like it's going to end anytime soon.

Fallout Season 2 to drop a day earlier. - OH SNAP!

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This SF nonprofit translates for tasks big and small - An overview of Respond Crisis Translation that is provides a most critical service to the people that need it.

How many times has Israel violated the Gaza ceasefire? Here are the numbers - The alleged ceasefire brokered by Trump appears to be complete bullshit.

Slavery once divided America. It also divided Indigenous nations - A sobering convo about the ugly history of anti-Blackness and it's effects on Black and Indigenous peoples in the US.

Indie studio releases 10k human-made game assets so devs “don’t turn to AI” - Chequered Ink makes a big contribution to creatives everywhere.

Heritage on horseback - An absolutely gorgeous photo series of Nigeria's Durbar

This is honestly just a test to make sure everything works as development on fipamo continues.

Made some fairly significant changes under the hood to address some security stuff, but it all seems cool.

Ha, for now anyway.

Meet the Nigerian graphic designers bringing African expression to typography - Some new design flavor from the young bucks on the west side of the Motherland.

Her gender transition set her free. So did her detransition. - A thought provoking piece about transitioning and then de-transitioning for a Black queer trying to find themselves.

The practice of Baltimore police officers using their cars as weapons is nothing new - Another damning commentary on the embedded history of gross violence and abuse in 'law enforcement.'

OpenAI Loses Key Discovery Battle as It Cedes Ground to Authors in AI Lawsuits - The ground is shrinking under these frauds.

The usually magnanimous Juicehead goes smooth the fuck off about the dumpster fire that is Fallout 4: Anniversary Edition and Bethesda's continued disrespect to their community.

Is the image overly dramatic? Ha, yes, but I just wanted to get some futuristic looking because I'm very excited about getting my site updated to the new, forth-coming version of Fipamo.

Yes, there are still some kinks (not that kinda kink... or maybe it is, I don't judge) to work out, but it works so I now I can focus on the last few necessary features (like backups and such) to get this thing out the door.

THE FUTURE IS (almost) HERE, BITCHES!

Top MAGA Influencers Accidentally Unmasked as Foreign Trolls - Not just a handful of sock puppet accounts. Ha, the most popular bigot influencers. This is hilarious.

The politics of hunger in Sudan- "This talk situates Sudan’s current famine within a broader historical context of neoliberal economic restructuring, US aid policies, foreign land investments and resource extractivism."

from memory by roshad brown - "The work centers various expressions of Black male sensuality without performance or exaggeration."

Combating glorification of Nazism - The UN recently held a vote on the rising popularity of Nazi ideology and symbolizm to counteract it and almost every country in the Western world voted against it.

Haiti qualifies for the World Cup 2026 - LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Women guards of Kaziranga brave all challenges to protect wildlife in India - A crew of bad ass women in India protecting the land. This is cool as shit.

When solidarity becomes spectacle - A strong piece discussing how we idolize those talking about wrong doing without actually doing anything more.

No Spiritual Surrender: Indigenous Anarchy in Defense of the Sacred - A book by Klee Benally on Indigenous anarchy and anti-colonial politics in action.

Historic Black Veterans Reparations Case Moves Forward After Judge Denies Motion to Dismiss - A case involving one of the greatest injustices in US history moves forward.

For 50 Years, The Rink On 87th Has Been A Haven For South Side Skaters - The magnetic staying power of a space for and by the community it serves.

Race and Redistribution in the United States (pdf) - The US tradition of destroying civic services becasue white people don't want Black people to get access to them.

Maybe Don’t Talk to the New York Times About Zohran Mamdani - A former professor from Mamdani's school say stop talking to careless bigots because you want a byline.

Cerrome Russell and Felonius Monk @ DC Comedy Loft- Because you need some comedy in your life and this is a dynamite line up.

SWORD PLAY: WU-TANG CLAN’S GZA RUNS DOWN EVERY TRACK OFF LIQUID SWORDS - The 30th (!?) anniversary of the GZA's masterpiece Liquid Swords was on the 7th, so here is the man himself breaking down its creation.

Recommended Indigenous Reads for National Native American Heritage Month - Some quality reads from Indigenous authors.

The god Uematsu hard passes on AI - The famed Final Fantasy composer says it's a not for him, boss.

Former Deputy Convicted in Killing of Sonya Massey After 15-Month Wait for Justice - It's about fucking time. This was cold blooded murder for no reason.

Uruguay becomes the first Latin American country to allow euthanasia through legislation - The country gives its citizens a 'dignified death' medical option.

Washington sanctions Ouagadougou for refusing to accept deportees from the United States - Trump throws another tantrum because Ibrahim Traoré told him no.

Women in Mexico step up to protect ancient Aztec farms and save a vanishing ecosystem - Another story highlighting, again, why Indigenous knowledge will save the land.

thaís valencio photgraphy - Brazil based shooter thaís valencio drops a new site with some stunning work

Driven Down PDF - The brilliant minds release a study detailing how Amazon's practices contribute to proverty and avoid accoutability while doing so.

Sovereign AI and Sustainable Computation for Indigenous Communities PDF - A ingenious initiative by Prof. Keolu Fox to bring sustainble technological independence to indigeounous communities by repurposing parts from e-waste.

Good and Cheap - Eating good with a limited budget is a skill that will get you through a lot of har times a little easier.

11 Times That D’Angelo Made a Movie Better with his Music - D’Angelo was so incredible for so long, even I forget the breadth of stuff his talent touched. He will be sorely missed.

PHOTOSTORY: BALTIMORE FIESTA PARADE OF LATINO NATIONS - the culture gonna culture no matter that times. This is beautiful.

Congo and M23 rebels agree to create body to oversee potential ceasefire - It's been ugly in the Congo for a minute, but hopefully the light at the end of the tunnel can be seen.

Outsized and eccentric: The farce behind the Nobel Peace Prize - Some strong words about the hypocrisy of the award.

Bad Bunny’s Middle Finger to White Assimilation - "And the best part? He speaks perfect English. In fact, his mother taught English. He just chooses not to bow to it."

D'Angelo passes away at 51 - Some touching words for a generational talent and cultural icon gone way too soon.

A Ceasefire Deal, But Not a Peace Agreement - Some understandable cynicism around a deal brokered between a sexual predator and a psychopath.

No One Was Helping Black Transgender Youth. So These Parents Stepped In - An intense and powerful piece about community at the margins.

L.A.’s Kink Pros Are Paying Their Bills and Letting Loose with Leashes, Fire, and Blood - A glimpse into the sex work scene in LA from the perspective of Black and Brown folks.

Rethinking the boundaries of Blackness - Jordache Ellapen talks about his new book examining an often ignored cultural intersection.

Palestine in BRICS: Decolonisation’s second wave - Some interesting thoughts in the wake of Palestine applying to BRICS.

On Evils in Software Licensing - A really thought provoking piece concerning how many open source licenses are in service of capitalism

Indigenous Nations Plan a Tariff-Free Trade Corridor Across the US-Canada border - This is really cool and has the potential to be a transformative moment in cooperative trade.

No Music for Genocide - Thousands of music artists are making a stand against Israel's unconscionable actions in the past two years.

When Africa’s internet breaks, this ship answers the call - Some do the unsung heroes that do the grueling work of keeping us connected.

A hilarious ad for wind farms in the one of a kind style of Samuel L mother fucking Jackson

Barrier being built around besieged Sudan city - 'With these berms, the RSF is creating a literal kill box around el-Fasher' Yale Humanitarian Research Lab

Mind the gap: Building inclusive AI for African languages - DAIR's Kathleen Siminyu discusses the limitations priotizing one language over another as we build language models to train systems how to recognize them.

Kenya transgender rights victory hailed as African first - Let's go, Kenya.

Raven Maragh-Lloyd on Black Networked Resistance - Professor Lloyd talks about her book and how Black digital spaces continue a long and complicated tradition of resistance and care.

Reading Rainbow Is Back, With Mychal the Librarian Hosting! - Ok, this is just cool.

LCARS - Designer Michael Okuda completely rebuilds the classic Star Trek UI with HTML and CSS. This is an impressive piece of work.

Whiteness is an invented concept that has been used as a tool of oppression - If you follow me on the socials, you know I know I talk about how destructive the ideology of whiteness is. This is a good primer on how it started.

UK, Australia and Canada recognize a Palestinian state, drawing ire from Netanyahu - In a suprising turn, UK, Austratlia and Canada break away from the US in a very definitive way, with more G20 countries expected to follow. I don't know if it's merely performative as the US circles the drain, but we'll see.

How a Japanese girl group is redefining feminism for a new generation - An interesting look into how music (heavily influenced by hip hop) is being used to challenge Japan's entrenched patriarchal norms.

One of my favorite streamers, Brian Menard, finds a hidden gem of a zombie game.

Egypt salutes the proposal of the "Joint Arab Force" in Arabic - The Arab World is getting tired of Israel's war mongering, so they are doing something about it.

How a movement against corruption on Nepali social media triggered unrest and death - The kids are not fucking around.

Colonize then, deport now - "Trump’s deportation regime revives a colonial blueprint first drafted by the American Colonization Society, when Black lives were exiled to Africa to safeguard a white republic."

Spike Lee’s ‘Highest 2 Lowest’ is primo old head cinema - LOL, I want to disagree, but... I find myself not with most this.

Ransford James, aka A Foreign Man in a Foreign Land creates an incredible piece delving into why Black queers choose conservatism and all that comes with that. One of my favorite culture pieces this year.

An interview with Francesca Albanese - The United Nations Special Rapporteur (who is a hottie) talks to the New Arab about the horror in Gaza and how the world is shifting away from colonialism.

Judge orders Trump to restore hundreds of diversity, equity, and inclusion webpages - I'm sure this has the Orange PDF file seething. Bitch ass...

The Colonial History of Texas Rangers - "What an obnoxious travesty, when a society masquerades war criminals as "heroes and patriots." They are glorified in monuments or institutions—symbols of suit supremacy. From the Texas Rangers Hall of Fame and Museum in Waco, Texas, to the Texas Prison Museum in Huntsville, which displays an electric chair named Old Sparky that executed many innocent people."

How is Africa benefiting from China's global renewable push? - "As Africa looks for ways to mitigate the ongoing climate crisis, outside investment isn't always a positive force"

How California Community College Students Can Get Free Immigration Law Services With #FindYourAlly - Free, confidential, and trusted, Find Your Ally offers help with everything from citizenship applications to VAWA protections.

It's officially been half a year since I started dropping a weekly notice for stuff that I find interesging, cool and compelling. I've really enjoyed this series because it's made me realize how big the web really is and I often I take that for granted.

So, in honor of this milestone, let's revisit some favorites dropped over the last few months.

Toxic Map This one is gorgeous, but it's also intense because it reveals how common pollution is in living areas.

Fifa's Double Standard - I love football, but it's been very challening to be a fan in light of how many sports governing bodies are still letting Israel participate in events while they continue to massacre the people of Palestine.

This was a peak era in wrestling

The Brutal Aesthetics of MAGA - It's like ugly people need to show you they are hideous inside and out. One of the most bizarre trends I've ever witnessed.

The Long Shadow of the Debate Between Edward Said and Michael Walzer - Said two hand dunking on bitches.

In The Park - Honestly? It's just so pretty.

The TESCREAL Bundle - A must read to understand the obsession wealthy people have with what they are calling A.I.

Vaccination rates to stop an outbreak - How much would it take to stop an outbreak?

BRICS vs Western Hegemony - BRICS has a lot of Western leaders SHOOK

Original Sins with Dr. Eve L. Ewing - The more you learn about US history, the worse it gets.

The federal minimum wage is officially a poverty wage - Yes, I know its Labor Day weekend. Read it.

The end of the US empire is not the end of the world - I honestly believe the world is better off without the US.

Sheinbaum Returns Stolen Land to Wixárika in Historic Ceremony - There's a reason Sheinbaum is one of the world's most popular leaders.

COMPARATIVE MEDIA STUDIES 201: “HETEROSEXUAL UNDERTONES IN TOP GUN” - Legit one of the most funny and true things I've ever read on the internet.

‘Sinners’ Passes Box Office Milestone No Original Film Has Reached in 8 Years - What a film.

What does Pride mean to you? - I'm a citizen of the world, but Baltimore will always be where I'm from.

They are not your typical preppers, but thousands look to them for survival tips - Because you need a game plan for the decline of capitalism.

Inside the Scrappy Network of Volunteers Protecting Their Neighbors From ICE - Poweer is in the hands of the people and collaboration is the key that unlocks it.

Zohran Mamdani’s Stunning Upset Redefines New York Politics - Still can't get over how Mamdani destroyed Cuomo.

Function - Ballroom culture is such a wonderous thing that was born out of so much pain and heartache.

Surveilland Funding - Just one of the best sites on the web rigtht now.

The Scale of of China's Solar-Power Projects - When science fiction is becoming less fiction.

Law, Racial Justice, Black-Centred Sci-Fi & Imagining an Antiracist Future - And speaking of science fiction...

Museo Alien - I'm probably too scared to go, LOL!

INTERFACE LOVE - This makes my design nerd heart so happy.

The first 100% effective HIV prevention drug is approved and going global - Just... wow.

The Sane-Washing of Mad King Trump - Because this fool really is nonsensical.

BBC is a patsy of the Israel lobby - The BBC is truly a bad place.

Blacksky is here - And the next social media era begins... and it's hella Black.

Freak Generations: The Moral Panic Playbook from Crack Babies to Trans Kids - A must read that connects anti-Blackness to the current transphobia we are seeing from so many public figures.

Business of War - Just some really dark shit

KILL THE KLAN T-SHIRT - Sometimes, violence is the answer.

This Photographer Preserved Life in New Orleans Before Katrina — With a Polaroid Camera - It's good to remember

KILL THE KLAN T-SHIRT - Ha, I just like these.

From Famine in Gaza to Trump's Big Beautiful Bill, Child Hunger Is an American Pastime - The USA's support of the barbarism we're seeing in Gaza began at home

Federal Judge Orders Closure of Florida Concentration Camp - Because fuck that

Why the Industry tried to stop the greatest rapper of all time. - The always compelling FD puts together good retrospective about the highs and lows of one of hip hop's most complex personalities.

How Baltimore became a rising star in America’s worker cooperative movement - Red Emma's is trailblazing cooperative economics

Please make the USA the villain in the next Call of Duty or Battlefield game - FINALLY, someone fucking said it!

"Israel is fighting a war it cannot win," says former Shin Bet chief as he backs Arab Peace Initiative - Some choice words for the nonsensical conflict continue in Gaza for the sake of one man's ego.

These countries want to be the next big semiconductor hubs - An ambitious initiative by Mexico, Malaysia, and India to keep more of the tech in house.

Business of War - A breakdown about how the world's biggest arms dealer perpetuates global conflict for profit

Blacksky is here - The independant ATProtocal based social media platform for and by Black folks is here... and it's AMAZING.

Freak Generations: The Moral Panic Playbook from Crack Babies to Trans Kids - An outstanding piece that shows how anti-Blackness was and is the fuel for the current hyper focus on trans lives.

Homelessness & Racial Inequity - A daming study that shows the clear connection between houselessness and racism.

Sinners is making Christians uncomfortable. We should dig into why. - A lot of religious folks dont' like what the film is saying about their belief system.

No Secret Police - Exactly what it says on the box. Because if you want to be an oppresser, show your face.

BBC is a patsy of the Israel lobby - "Reporting fully and accurately on the campaign of genocide and ethnic cleansing in all Palestine is not uppermost in the BBC managerial mind."

Blackstar Film Fest - I missed this, but it looks incredible and some projects can be still be streamed.

The Sane-Washing of Mad King Trump - A good piece on how mass media is normalizing the insanity of a madman and his cronies.

Alaska lawmakers override governor’s veto of public school funding, restoring services and teachers - Bullies don't like it when you fight back because they usually lose.

Senegal gets France the fuck up outta there as the countries of the African continent continue to expel the vestiges of colonial Europe.

Exposing the New York Times - So... that's why the NYT has been so pro murdering Brown people since, well, forever.

INTERFACE LOVE - This is... magical.

The first 100% effective HIV prevention drug is approved and going global - We really do live in the future. I still carry the wounds of loved ones dying from HIV/AIDs, so this is... whew. I need a moment.

Flint Finishes Replacing 11,000 Lead Pipes, Concluding Activists’ Decade-Long Effort to Secure Clean Water - It only took a got damn DECADE!

Africa May Be on the Cusp of a Soccer Golden Age - Football in the Motherland has always been an uphill fist fight, but maybe, just maybe, the trials and tribulations are paying off.

The W really might be the most fun sports league on the planet.

Museo Alien - Apparently there is an museum dedicated to the Alien franchise in Barcelona? WHAT??!!?

BALTIMORE RESIDENTS ARE MOBILIZING TO PROTECT THEIR IMMIGRANT NEIGHBORS FROM ICE - As the US unmasks it's authoritarian fantasies, my hometown is figuring out how to push back on these racist pricks.

Step inside the world of African masquerade artists with this New Orleans catalog and exhibition - Just beautiful work and an even more interesting history behind the culture.

Mahmoud Khalil sues Trump for false imprisonment - "Mahmoud Khalil is seeking $20 million in damages from the Trump administration, alleging that he was falsely imprisoned. Khalil says he would use the funds to assist others targeted by Trump's crackdown." Fuck, yeah.

DAIR store - The mighty minds of DAIR have launched their own online store. MERCH!

The Scale of of China's Solar-Power Projects - Fortunately, some folks on the planet are embracing the 21st century.

Law, Racial Justice, Black-Centred Sci-Fi & Imagining an Antiracist Future - Dr. Foluke Adebisi contemplates sci-fi outside of the white gaze.

Poll: Overwhelming majority of Jewish Israelis share genocidal belief there are ‘no innocent people in Gaza’ - Netanyahu is an ugly symptom, but he isn't the core of why genocide of Gaza continues. It's in the bones of Israel.

Texas Flood Kills 82+, Including 28 Kids, Amid Drought, Trump Cuts to Weather Service, NOAA & FEMA - A state that went to Trump is suffering through the ugly realities of their decison.

Mamdani Headlines - An absolutely hilarious poke at the tabloid like coverage of Mamdani by the ever declining New York Times.

Subnautica 2 is in trouble - The orginal was an indy darling a few years ago but the sequel moving on without its creators is not a good sign.

Israel commits another war crime - It's happening on a daily basis.

Surveilland Funding - The mighty folks at Surveillance Watch give us another visually stunning and sober look at who is funding the police state.

The WNBA needs to market all its stars - A great piece about how the WNBA can differentiate itself from the MNBA by leaning into it's wealth of talent.

Function - A gorgeous site dedicted to the beautiful fury and pagenetry of Ballroom Culture.

WorldPride 2025: Finding Joy During a Season of Political Backlash - You gotta find a way to keep your smile, espeically when bigots are trying to take it away

Mohsen Mahdawi Fought ICE and Won His Freedom. For Now. - They don't wat us to fight because when we do, we win.

“Zola,” “Anora,” and the DEI Mirage - An interesting piece about who gets to make 'art' in Hollywood and who doesn't.

Zohran Mamdani’s Stunning Upset Redefines New York Politics - And it wasn't close

Did tracking-based advertising just get blown up in Europe? - Oh shit. Well... this is going make things interesting.

This is how you stop data trackers from sucking up your health data - At every opportunity, resist.

Inside the Scrappy Network of Volunteers Protecting Their Neighbors From ICE - There is no such thing as hopelessness when we work together.

Through to Thriving: Honoring Our Elders with Dr. Timnit Gebru - Dr. Gebru joins Anika Collier Navaroli in imagining buidling technology that honors the cultures we come from.

“Washington has the delusion it still runs the show” - Econmist Jeffrey Sachs has a candid conversation with Mark Lamont Hill about the rapid decline of US influence globally.

Palestine in Pictures: May 2025 - We must bear witness.

The Return of The Clipse - Push T and Malice come back just when we need them.

Senators Demand Meta Answer For AI Chatbots Posing as Licensed Therapists - As if we needed more reasons to detest Meta, but WHAT??

They are not your typical preppers, but thousands look to them for survival tips - Disaster planning from people that don't idolize Call of Duty.

The always compelling F.D. Signifier talks to a Black activist on the ground in LA.

Why Israel did not defeat Gaza after 600 days of war? - An opinion piece about the incompetence of Israel's war machine and the bottomless courage of Palestine in hellish conditions.

The resurgence of Benin sound - "This new wave: Rema’s haunting falsettos, Shallipopi’s coated tongue, 2Rymce’s ancestral militancy, is not just musical. It’s a cultural restoration."

What does Pride mean to you? - Some lovely souls from my home town talk reflect on their journeys to here.

Flashlights - A very cool site develing into the very uncool history of the prision system and the people who have fought incarceration in the US.

No Man's Sky Updates to 5.7 Beacon - The hardest working devs in the business give us another beefy addition to an already incredible game.

Parrying Is the Best Thing in Video Games - It's all fun and games until someone backhands away your best move, son.

Police Murders Increased Five years After George Floyd - Another damning report about the brutality of law enforcment in the United States.

The ‘chaos’ of aid distribution in Gaza is not a system failure. The system is designed to fail. - "Israel is using the so-called Gaza Humanitarian Foundation to condense Palestinians into increasingly narrow enclaves, forcing displacement through need. We are witnessing the rise of a new humanitarianism where aid sites double as kill zones."

‘Sinners’ Passes Box Office Milestone No Original Film Has Reached in 8 Years - Coogler's latest continues to break records

The Stonewall Riots - Some history on how Pride Month came to be.

Rudy Fraser @ ASML Spring Synthesizer - BlackSky's shares some thoughts about his project and the considerable progress it is as an independent entity.

The global gateway to nowhere - New investment, same colonialism

COMPARATIVE MEDIA STUDIES 201: “HETEROSEXUAL UNDERTONES IN TOP GUN” - LOL, this is hilarious, but points were made.

Trump vs. Harvard vs. Black folks - A complex story about Harvard seeking protection from policies it has levied against it's own staff and students.

Kendo 101: A beginner’s guide to Japanese sword fighting - A cool overview of the way of the sword.

Trump admin shills for Elon Musk on the African continent - Scammers are gonna scam

Sheinbaum Returns Stolen Land to Wixárika in Historic Ceremony - Primer presidenta de Mexico derechos un error de larga duración.

Nottoway Plantation burns to the ground - The largest remaining antebellum plantation is a 'total loss.'

Nelly Gesare leads the way with Greenthing Kenya. - “A turning point came. I lost everything. With the little I had left, I launched a product—and it sold out in two days. That experience showed me the power of sustainability-driven business,” she explained.

Combee: Harriet Tubman, the Combahee River Raid, and Black Freedom During the Civil War, by Edda L. Fields-Black wins Pulitzer - The history about one of the greatest revolutionaries the world has seen wins big in a time where those stories are being suppressed.

The end of the US empire is not the end of the world - It won't be easy, but the opportunity for a world without the US is upon us.

The West is afraid of Ibrahim Traoré - Burkina Faso's young leader has the colonizers nervous

The End of Apple's 30% Fees - a U.S. court ruled that Apple must allow developers to use alternative payment systems for digital goods

Me @ Letterboxd - Ha, yeah. I finally joined.

Am I becoming a list person??

Information is Beautiful 2024 Awards Shortlist - Just an absolute treasure trove of gorgeously presented visual data from a wide variety of diciplines.

The federal minimum wage is officially a poverty wage - Another sobering reminder of the collapse of capitalism.

Malaysia sees a tourism boom from China

What young Indigenous Brazilians think about climate change - The young folks have a candid convo about how climate change is affecting their day to day lives.

Zaha Hadid Architects Reimagine Urban Mobility With KAFD Metro Station - A really cool project continues the legacy of one of my favorite architects of all time.

There's always more.

The un-African mechanisms of queer repression - A look into the ideologies that shape queerphobic policy in the Motherland

5 reasons You Should Be Watching Raising Kanaan - We've got a lot of up and downs from the Power universe, but Book III is a special show.

Democracy Now talks to Ryan Coogler - Oakland's finest talks about all the culture and ideas that have shaped his latest hit, Sinners.

Original Sins with Dr. Eve L. Ewing - The amazing How to Survive the End of the World podcast gets into Dr. Eve L. Ewing new book, Original Sins: The (Mis)education of Black and Native Children and the Construction of American Racism. This is a must listen.

Your Home Without China - NYT Interactive to continues to be the lone shining light of the failing publication, and they knock it out of the park with a visual representation of how integrated China is in our homes.

It's time to share again. I love sharing.

The last masters of Afro-Colombian machete fencing fight to save their tradition - The old school masters fight to preserve an important tradition.

BRICS vs Western Hegemony - A slick breakdown of how the world is adapting to the instability of the US.

Abortion rates are rising, even after the repeal of Roe Vs. Wade - It seems the Republican plot to strip women of bodily autonomy is back firing.

HarmonyCloak - "HarmonyCloak is designed to protect musicians from the unauthorized exploitation of their work by generative AI models" This is just fucking cool.

Anime JS, V4 - The slickest javascript animation library since GreenSock dropped it's latest version. And it's HOT.

Wemby talks about his recovery - The young star talks about his recovery process from a blood clot that unexpectedly halted his season.

Vaccination rates to stop an outbreak - A sobering interactive app that shows how vaccination rates work to stop disease.

Gabon Elects a New Leader - After a military coup to depose a dynasty, Gabon returns to the polls for their first election since 2023.

The Truth Behind The Sudden Conclusion Of Cyberpunk: Edgerunners Showrunner’s Short-Lived Manga Series - A tale of how a popular spinoff manga suddenly vanished.

The always hilarious and fun Nova gets early acces to one of the most anticipated indie titles of the year, Into the Dead: Our Darkest Days

The TESCREAL Bundle - DAIR breaks down why billionaires are so obsessed with artificial general intelligence

I'm going to miss the old subway map - One of the staples of NYC transit life gets an update.

In The Park - "Our mission is to celebrate Mexican beauty in fashion, film, and television by collaborating with individuals who, through their appearance, identity, and gender expression, reshape cultural perceptions of Mexico and Latin America. We strive for diversity that transcends the superficial or symbolic."

Woman-to-Woman Marriage in West Africa - a Vanishing Tradition of Power and Agency - An examination of the decline of a long standing queer tradition in West Africa.

A breakdown of how Netanyahu is using the grotesque politics of genocide to stave off the end of his career.

AMERICAN HISTORY LESSONS EDITED TO COMPLY WITH ANTI-DEI STANDARDS - McSweeny's being... well... McSweeny's, but they hilariously are not wrong.

The Long Shadow of the Debate Between Edward Said and Michael Walzer - That time Said exposed the gaps in Walzer's reasoning around the popularity of Zionism.

The god Miyazaki-san let's his thoughts about AI in art be known

Nazi Germany and Physics - Dr. Chanda Prescod-Weinstein gives a sobering presenatation on how fascism attempts to repurpose education to promote itself.

A People's Guide to Tech - An ever expanding guidebook to making technology more accessible and fun in a tangible way.

The Brutal Aesthetics of MAGA - How the attachement to whiteness demands garish physical transformation.

Maybe the greatest tag team of all-time: The Golden Lovers

The Digital Packrat Manifesto - We live in the future. Many of the services we rely on would become obsolete if we used the tools available to do it ourselves.

Have Websites Considered Simply Watching A TV Show And Finding Out What Happens - In a world where everyone has an opinion, it's become a bit of novelty to acutally just watching something to find your own.

Fifa's Double Standard - FIFA has suspended Russia from competing while Israel continues to commit genocide while being allowed to participate in global events. No, it doesn't seem fair, does it?

The Many Misrepresentations of Mahmoud Khalil - The US government are continuing a very long tradtion of defaming people who are trying to do some good by using the most tired and antiquated tropes.

Too Busy Description from the site: HUMAN TRAFFICKING IS EVERYWHERE, THRIVING IN SILENCE. OUR MISSION IS TO BREAK THAT SILENCE—TO EXPOSE THE DARKNESS AND AMPLIFY THE VOICES THAT HAVE BEEN HIDDEN FOR TOO LONG. THIS IS A SANCTUARY FOR TRUTH, A SPACE TO REVEAL WHAT HAS REMAINED HIDDEN IN OUR CULTURE.

An Afro-Brazilian Christmas in Lagos A beautiful piece paying homage to a multicultural event in West Africa

Toxic Map A gorgeous but sobering interactive project that tracks cancer causing pollution hotspots in the US.

Sons & Daughters Description from site: Sons & Daughters is a storytelling project about Chinese-Canadian cafés, food and family.

Most Star Wars projects get some attention, but The Acolyte received a furious response from the community, which I generally ignore because Star Wars fandom has developed a reputation for not liking stories that show Black and Brown folks in their space fantasies.

When I finally did sit down to watch the show, I found it started a bit slow and it had some awkward tone moments as it figured out how it wanted to present itself, but it was a compelling story about how the dogma of the Jedi discounts the empathy needed to relate to human needs, resulting in disastrous consequences. The overall narrative and presentation diverged from the usual nostalgia that is deployed in most Disney Star Wars projects and introduced new characters to tell a different type of story. For me, it was a great project that suffered from some sketchy moments, but in the context of the larger story it was trying to tell, these were minor negatives that did not negate the quality of the original story.

I like talking about Star Wars stuff because, well, I'm a nerd, and I like talking about deeper narrative choices, character motivations, and those subtle notes that producers put in for people like me who are deeply familiar with the many facets of that world.

Unfortunately, it was difficult to find fans of the show because the people who spoke out to get attention about the show either claimed the show broke the lore, meaning it went against previously established narratives (it didn't), or regurgitated the popular thought among the aforementioned bigots who don't want diversity 'forced' into a show about space wizards and aliens. Many people seemed so caught up in repeating controversial narratives that weren't true rather than talking about the actual project and the story it was presenting.

The Acoloyte turned out to be Disney's least popular SW show, replacing the much-loved Andor at the bottom of the Star Wars series stack. This may be a surprise for a lot of people with the way critics gush over Andor, which is deserved because it's really good, but the reality is that few Star Wars fans watched it preferring mediocre storytelling that focused on characters and narratives from the original trilogy.

This preference of the fanbase for stories that remind them of what Star Wars combined with the latent hatred many so-called fans have for Black and Brown actors alchemized into a toxic slush of conversation that centers one's preconceived biases about what they want the story to be as opposed to being open to new ideas and narratives, even if they are presented well. A significant part of the fanbase has shown a preference for narratives we've seen before that feature white or white-passing leads.

The beauty of the Star Wars franchise is that it tells an ongoing story of people and creatures from all different backgrounds joining together to fight a seemingly invincible foe that leverages religious fanaticism to maintain its oppression. Diversity is a critical component of this fight against tyranny as it takes contributions from everyone for even the hope of success. It's not a concept that was recently introduced to the franchise but has been a cornerstone of the storytelling since the beginning.

Unfortunately, it seems many alleged fans of the franchise either missed the point of the overall arch or just don't care about the story, bringing their fundamental appreciation for that world into question. Do you like the complicated narrative of people struggling to find their way in an environment that wants to maintain brutal control at any cost, or do you just like seeing white guys blow stuff up?

I will always love Star Wars because it opened my mind up to an entirely new world that has had my attention since the single digits.

But the commentary around The Acolyte has reminded me of why we don't get better stories in such despite there being so many compelling narratives that have gone into building that world.

And that's just... disappointing.

Most Star Wars projects get some attention, but The Acolyte received a furious response from the community, which I generally ignore because Star Wars fandom has developed a reputation for not liking stories that show Black and Brown folks in their space fantasies.

When I finally did sit down to watch the show, I found it started a bit slow and it had some awkward tone moments as it figured out how it wanted to present itself, but it was a compelling story about how the dogma of the Jedi discounts the empathy needed to relate to human needs, resulting in disastrous consequences. The overall narrative and presentation diverged from the usual nostalgia that is deployed in most Disney Star Wars projects and introduced new characters to tell a different type of story. For me, it was a great project that suffered from some sketchy moments, but in the context of the larger story it was trying to tell, these were minor negatives that did not negate the quality of the original story.

I like talking about Star Wars stuff because, well, I'm a nerd, and I like talking about deeper narrative choices, character motivations, and those subtle notes that producers put in for people like me who are deeply familiar with the many facets of that world.

Unfortunately, it was difficult to find fans of the show because the people who spoke out to get attention about the show either claimed the show broke the lore, meaning it went against previously established narratives (it didn't), or regurgitated the popular thought among the aforementioned bigots who don't want diversity 'forced' into a show about space wizards and aliens. Many people seemed so caught up in repeating controversial narratives that weren't true rather than talking about the actual project and the story it was presenting.

The Acoloyte turned out to be Disney's least popular SW show, replacing the much-loved Andor at the bottom of the Star Wars series stack. This may be a surprise for a lot of people with the way critics gush over Andor, which is deserved because it's really good, but the reality is that few Star Wars fans watched it preferring mediocre storytelling that focused on characters and narratives from the original trilogy.

This preference of the fanbase for stories that remind them of what Star Wars combined with the latent hatred many so-called fans have for Black and Brown actors alchemized into a toxic slush of conversation that centers one's preconceived biases about what they want the story to be as opposed to being open to new ideas and narratives, even if they are presented well. A significant part of the fanbase has shown a preference for narratives we've seen before that feature white or white-passing leads.

The beauty of the Star Wars franchise is that it tells an ongoing story of people and creatures from all different backgrounds joining together to fight a seemingly invincible foe that leverages religious fanaticism to maintain its oppression. Diversity is a critical component of this fight against tyranny as it takes contributions from everyone for even the hope of success. It's not a concept that was recently introduced to the franchise but has been a cornerstone of the storytelling since the beginning.

Unfortunately, it seems many alleged fans of the franchise either missed the point of the overall arch or just don't care about the story, bringing their fundamental appreciation for that world into question. Do you like the complicated narrative of people struggling to find their way in an environment that wants to maintain brutal control at any cost, or do you just like seeing white guys blow stuff up?

I will always love Star Wars because it opened my mind up to an entirely new world that has had my attention since the single digits.

But the commentary around The Acolyte has reminded me of why we don't get better stories in such despite there being so many compelling narratives that have gone into building that world.

And that's just... disappointing.

There wasn't much room for an imaginative boy on the smallish side to explore interests and hobbies that were deemed not valuable in a space that prioritized structure, discipline, and adherence to religion. This is not to say it was all bad, because it wasn't. However, I was very familiar with physical conflict with people who were bigger than me when conformity didn't always happen. Balancing what I wanted for myself versus what my parents wanted was a constant process, that often had dire consequences when I could find that middle.

Despite the many differences I had with my parents, I discovered my stepfather was a pretty good player, and after learning how much I liked watching basketball on TV, he would let me tag along with him to the indoor courts on the military base we lived on at the time. I've always been undersized in the context of sports, so it wasn't the most comfortable activity for me, but I was already used to physical punishment due to the abuse my parents subjected me to, calling it discipline and I was surprisingly athletic for my size, so once I got the basics down, it became a fun past time a short amount of time.

My stepfather and I have always had a challenging relationship as he struggled with the tribulations passed on to him by his father. I learned it was better to just stay out of the way as much as I could. We didn't connect on much, but basketball was one of the handful of interests we did share. We still didn't talk much, but the game was one of the places I learned I could relax a bit and not have to worry about the seemingly random irritations of my stepfather escalating to something else.

The more I played the better I got and the more people I would meet, which was spectacular for an awkward kid who grew up in the church. I learned the more mimicked the masculinity my stepfather performed, the more I was accepted not only by him but the people around me. Basketball became not only one of my favorite pastimes but also a temporary haven from the expectations constantly being pressed upon me in a household where conformity was expected. And for a time, it was glorious.

A couple of years ago, I wrote a piece called Pride for Straight Guy that was well-received and instigated many compelling conversations. While most people who read the piece thought that is a nice sentiment from someone that doesn't identify with the queer community, people who know me expressed surprise that I identified as straight in that piece.

My response when writing that piece, I landed on being straight because I don't have inherent sexual attraction for men, which I felt disqualified me from straying from the rubric of heteronormativity. But a passage from bell hooks reminded me how limited that thought construct is.

"queer not as being about who you are having sex with, that can be a dimension of it, but queer as being about the self that is at odds with everything around it and has to invent and create and find a place to speak and to thrive and to live.”

The conversations I had with my peers echoed the sentiments of hooks, that while my sexual preferences are a part of it, there is a context to how I live that speaks to a larger narrative about how I move in the world.

When I started to study history and gender theory in college, I began to realize a lot of the awkwardness of my youth was due to not fully subscribing at all to the Western ideals of masculinity, which often frustrated my stepfather, as he felt his lessons of 'how to be a man' were not being adopted as they should, not realizing his example was the reason I did not want to commit to this idea of what being a man was. The way he treated me versus my siblings, his physical and mental abuse of my mother, and his acquiescence to being tokenized to advance his career were behaviors I did not want to emulate.

The rejection of this ideal he represented was the foundation of my discovery of what kind of person I wanted to be. I do not believe in the alleged superiority of men over women. I do not believe the most significant expression of womanhood is in service to men. I think the idea that homosexualism is unnatural is laughable at best and responsible for so much unnecessary death at worst. I am deeply disturbed by transphobia because it illustrates a detachment from humanity so profound its only recourse is to spread that misery and hate to others in the most violent and inhumane ways possible.

The wholesale rejection of Western masculinity as a barometer for how I should treat not only myself but the people I am around frees up so much space for me to engage with people as they are instead a construct of falsehoods and concoctions that don't exist. I'm not perfect at it because everyone is different, so sometimes, you get it wrong while learning. Still, one thing I can say about myself with certainty is that I don't have biases against identities but rather behaviors and actions. Of course, we all have biases, but as long as that identity doesn't involve causing people harm, I'm cool with how anyone identifies.

If I had to guess, it was experiencing the effects of this posture regularly that led my friend to exclaim, 'bitch, you're probably not gay, but you for damn sure aren't straight,' after having an extended conversation of the original piece. At the time, I just laughed it off because it was hilarious. Still, later, I couldn't help but notice how remarkably well it aligns with hooks' quote about the nature of queerness being grounded in the creation and invention of identity in adverse conditions.

My journey with queerness started early in my life and has continuously evolved as I have sought better ways to connect with people not through the limited prism of a gender construct, but rather learning how to authentically connect with another human being based on shared experiences and not expectations based on a reductive belief system.

What I am realizing now is that I didn't have the words for it until later in life.

As we enjoy the space that people before us fought and bled for as we enjoy this latest month of Pride, I find myself reflecting on the piece I wrote a couple of years ago and if it is still an accurate representation of how I identify.

To be honest, I still have no idea where I fall on that spectrum, but I am realizing that I should probably give myself more space to figure that out instead of landing on one definitive point.

And one thing I have learned is that giving myself that space to explore change and grow is queer as hell.

Happy Pride, y'all.

The story around Cyberpunk 2077 has become both a cautionary tale and a diet story of redemption.

On the one hand, CD Projekt Red followed a common trend of developers releasing unfinished games to cash in on the hype generated by high-profile trailers (that don't resemble gameplay) at high-profile events. On the other, they managed to polish and duct-tape a version of the game together that was playable and brought us into the world created by Mike Pondsmith in a way that had not been experienced previously.

Cyberpunk 2077 is a compelling example of managerial incompetence tinged with bigotry and what happens when corporate entities listen to what people say about their product and attempt to apply that information to improve it.

It's one of those stories where both the criticism and praise of it are valid.

I ignored the game for the first year or a year and a half as it was embroiled in controversy and legal trouble concerning CD Projekt Red's stated intentions with the game and what was delivered. It had gotten so bad that PlayStation decided to pull the game from their store, and when it returned a few months later, it still came with a warning, letting customers know about its problematic quality.

To their credit, the game developers soldiered on despite the justifiable hammering their product received in the media. Sentiment around the game began to change with the well-received and brutal Edge Runners anime coupled with the release of the 1.6 patch, which showcased a stable version of the game that was playable enough to experience the world of Night City without the technical issues marring a play through.

It was around this time I picked it up. I caught it on sale one day for the price of an overpriced cup of coffee, so I decided to give it a shot, as opinions around the title seemed to be shifting to a more positive posture.

Playing Cyberpunk

Honestly, my opinions of the game are still on a broad spectrum. Having been familiar with the work of Pondsmith already, it was incredible to exist in Night City, which, for the most part, was a faithful recounting of his vision, albeit filtered through the lens of accessibility to maximize its selling potential.

Compelling narratives about survival and identity were crunched into easily digestible chunks for gamers unfamiliar with that world they could connect to. Also, including Keanu Reeves to play the infamous Johnny Silverhand was a surprise I had not expected, but it also spoke to how much was being invested to make this game successful to the masses.

While I enjoyed the ability to navigate the dark and grimy corners of Night City, I also felt the game was simplified in a way that removed the agency of what it was to be a person in that place, thus downplaying the overall theme how difficult it was to not only survive in it but to retain one's humanity in a hyper-capitalist world where everyone was chipping away at their bodies to keep pace with the rapid decline of a failed society. Yes, those themes were present, but it felt watered down to the point of irrelevancy where the shock of violence took center stage rather than the context of the society that forced people to make such drastic and dehumanizing decisions regularly.

That said, I have spent 154 hours in the game, exploring its ins and outs, stories, and narratives. Having spent so much time in the game, despite its flaws, there is a great game in there.

Considering the needs of CD Projekt Red to sell the game based on the lofty expectations they created for it, I can understand why much of it has gone unrealized, to instead focus on a somewhat stable and smooth experience. There is also a cultural disconnect from a team of predominantly white European developers trying to interpret the social experiences of a world built-in part of the experiences of a Black American man, especially in the story of Silverhand, a white dude, invading the body of V, who could potentially be a Black character in the US, a place not known for respecting the agency and bodily autonomy of Black people.

However, having played the game extensively, a few tweaks could make it shine not just as an achievement in perseverance but as a piece of art that combines technical brilliance with a social awareness rarely seen in gaming today.

Let's get into my thoughts on how Cyberpunk 2077 could be improved to make it sing.

Survival in Night City

A major theme in the world of Cyberpunk is the survivability of the average person and the difficulties of making a living. You can get a sense of this daunting task by reading the various stories you uncover as you progress through the game that detail the cruelties that gangs and politicians visit upon the people. Walking around the city also helps to illustrate this by seeing many people who are unhoused, panhandling, and the pervasiveness of drug use, all tell-tale signs of concentrated poverty.

Some praise this kind of immersion as it illuminates the dire straights your character is navigating. Still, there is an intrinsic disconnect as your character does not experience this personally. After a brief intro that is aligned with one of the three available backgrounds, you are shown a montage of activities with Jacky that are meant to illustrate your rise from an average person to a notable mercenary in the city, complete with being gifted an apartment that serves as the humble base of operations. You are even gifted your first pieces of cybernetic implants.

In a city that is defined by the hardships of survival, you rarely experience any of them, with the main difficulty of the game being expressed through the common game trope of combat, which becomes less challenging the more you progress in the game, expanding the disconnect of complex it is to exist in Night City.

The game does itself a disservice by glossing over how V goes nothing to a person who is noteworthy for the attention of one of the more influential figures in the initial part of the game, Dexter DeShaun. It would serve the immersion in a much more tangible way to let the players experience V struggling to find resources for food and shelter and build a relationship with various ripper docs around the city who will let V skate on the price of modifications after reaching a certain level of affinity.

Survival mechanics that introduce a character having to maintain their wellness are commonplace in today's game, as well as reputation systems that dictate how others receive the character.

Adding these two features, in addition to letting the player navigate their rise with Jacky, who should be a more significant part of the narrative anyway, would hammer home how hard V has worked to get a break in Night City and connect the player to the challenges of living in that space by having to figure out how to meet their basic needs with the skills they develop over time.

This would connect V to the community around them in a way that cannot be achieved by a quick movie and reading other people's stories.

V as a member of community

Typically, I play games as a Black woman because I like seeing women being able to crack dudes in the face for being sexist and disrespectful garbage. I get a kick out of that. So my version of V was a queer Black woman who did not like guns but was very proficient with melee and thrown-bladed weapons. She was a decent net runner, but most of her enhancements centered around maximizing her combat ability and stealth to get in and out of situations without leaving a trace but efficiently dispatch gun-toting enemies if violence was required.

My decision-making around V prioritized her well-being in a space that did not care about people but also made allowances for people who were trying to do some good in a world where that wasn't rewarded. She was cruel in situations where she had to defend herself because one had to send a message. Still, she also had empathy for struggling people and only had terrible decisions available to them. For example, I only killed one cyber psycho, a condition crudely described as a mental break due to an overabundance of cybernetic implants, and that was by accident. When I read about the circumstances that lead to people's break from reality, it became clear that the catalyst to their condition was the world they lived in and the dehumanizing framework they had to navigate constantly—learning that made a difference in how my version of V approached these situations.

Despite the nuanced decisions I can make as a character, these decisions are not reflected in the world around me. Sure, I am known for my exploits as a violent badass in the mercenary world, but there is little to no acknowledgment of the subtler choices I make that fill out who V is as a person and not just a gun for hire.

No vendors recognized me because I helped a person in the neighborhood. Fixers forgot about me once I completed their tasks without commentary on how I went about them. There was virtually no variance in places I visited frequently, such as Lizzie's Bar.

Interactions in the city were static for a game that styled itself as a journey of a citizen rising to prominence by any means necessary and was supposed to stand out in that way. They did not deviate from their prescribed path, so you never get a sense that V's notoriety was changing outside of the statistical displays of 'street cred' shown when you paused the game.

Given the sheer size and depth of Night City, this is a glaring oversight to increase immersion in a subtle but significant way.

And speaking of Night City...

Make Night City the main character

Ok, I'm going to be honest. I'm a Johnny Silverhand hater. Yes, I understand he is a significant character in the lore of Cyberpunk and is a part of one the most significant events in the history of that world.

But for me, his story fell flat because 1. the white rocker aesthetic was dated, and 2. it felt bizarre that the main campaign said the white rocker, whose own memories were unreliable, was trying to take over the Black body of my version of V, who is also a woman. Admittedly, I don't expect a bunch of white Europeans to know how to navigate those cultural sensitivities with much skill. Still, the lack of effort to address that possibility was a major disconnect for me. I simply didn't care about the subtle redemption arc of an outdated and depressed white guy coming to terms with his situation at my expense.

This is not to say I don't think Silverhand should be in the game. He is, after all, part of the fabric that makes that world what it is. But the game would be better if his narrative were not the central campaign.

The part that redeemed the game wasn't the primary campaign but exploring Night City. I didn't keep returning to a bug-riddled game for the story of Silverhand. I kept coming back to dive deeper and deeper into the city itself.

The writing of the events, scenarios, and characters you experience while existing as an up-and-coming mercenary in Night City is a stark contrast to the plodding, often shallow story of coming to terms with Silverhand and his need to exist in a world that has left him behind. The primary campaign feels like a mediocre obituary to a person who has no idea who they are, while the highlight of the game is seeing the brutal, ugly, and yet captivating stories of the people who are trying to do the best they can.

There are many moments when continuing the main story felt like an interruption to scenarios billed as side-quests. A great example of this is the questline of Judy, a young and talented computer tech who made a living creating virtual pornography. Her story was an incredible dive into a person trying to find meaning and community in a place that valued nothing outside of making money. Through her, we experience an almost perfect distillation of the world of Cyberpunk and what it does to people as it slowly chips away at their hope and sanity, and the complicated decisions people make to retain a reason to keep going. There is a specific sequence in her story where she shares a visit to her hometown with you, which had been flooded years prior and was an underwater ghost town. She lets you into some moments that define her as a person and the hurt and memories that accompany it. There isn't any particular moral judgment to it; it's just a person sharing their vulnerabilities and insecurity around something important that was lost in an attempt to find a connection to replace it.

So many stories around Night City delve into these kinds of narratives around people, and the plethora of ways people survive makes it feel real in a way that I've rarely experienced in a game. These stories are so compelling that the main narrative feels cheap and flimsy by comparison.

This is not to say the primary campaign should be removed but rather deprioritized to focus on what makes that game shine. Unquestionably, that is the achievement of Nighty City and the effort put into rewarding your character for taking the time to express every nook and cranny you could.

But, ok, let's talk about the central story.

Make the main story optional and about Silverhand's fractured identity

As I've said, I'm utterly bored with the main story. I'm just not interested in a dead(ish) white dude coming to terms with his current predicament, which was a direct consequence of his actions.

But there is a compelling narrative about Silverhand that has more to do with what he is now rather than reliving those god-awful sequences of what he was.

As Pondesmith acknowledged, Silverhand's memories about his history are unreliable, and his retelling of his story over time cannot be trusted. However, you don't get a sense of this as his story is centered around him resolving his troubles.

A far more compelling narrative would be to explore this inconsistency and witness how Silverhand reacts to slowly realizing he is not actually what he remembers. Together, you both go on a journey of self-discovery of what this means, as both of you are altered versions of your original selves. Instead of focusing on an essentially reductive narrative about whose body it is (which is obviously V's), it could be recontextualized as two people engaging in a shared story of coming to terms with the consequences of what happened to both of them rather than an addled ride through the memories of someone that mostly fabricated.

Making this new story optional also opens up more storytelling and world-building opportunities. Instead of being brought a job by Jacky (RIP) by a random person you don't know, let V work their way up to meet Dexter. Let V go on jobs that slowly reveal the Silverhand thread to her. If V chooses to follow it, it goes deeper and deeper, so there is the context of why Silverhand is on the biochip that she and Jacky pilfer. V knows something is wrong with him initially because the information she has learned throughout her story does not align with what Silverhand tells her. This creates new possibilities for how V and Silverhand engage with each other outside of the trope of an angry, self-righteous white rocker who is only concerned about themselves to a fascinating story about two people forced to deal with the shared reality that they are not who they were and have to figure out who they are now.

Imagine the emotional impact of Silverhand realizing what Arasaka did to him by altering the core of who he was by changing his memories and seeing he's doing the same to V, continuing Arasaka's legacy of destroying people's lives with technology. Realizing that he has become the unintentional tool of what he hated is a much more compelling space to examine.

Honorable Mention: More Blackwall and Alt Cunningham

A big part of the game talks about the horror of Blackwall, the section of the Net that houses aggressive and murderous AIs. It was presented as a virtual wasteland that no one could survive.

However, one aspect of this that remains unresolved for me is the story of how Alt survived when she was soulkilled by Arasaka. I understand the implication that she became an AI after her body physically died. Still, I've always wanted to know more about that transition and how difficult it was for Alt to deal with her new reality. What was it like being stranded in a place known for its hostility and violence? How did she become such an influential figure in that space? Does she know how that process could be replicated for people who want to exist there? Does she want to be human again?

Not only do I want to know more about Alt, but I want to be able to explore Blackwall and experience what that place is like. There is a cyberdeck you can use where you can leverage Blackwall against enemies that have a physical consequence for you when you use it, and that's pretty cool, but I want to delve deeper into that. For example, what if one of the endings were you choosing to abandon your physical self and exist in Blackwall as an act of defiance and trying to convince Alt to be your guide? That would be a fantastic plot point to explore.

Finish Line

For what it's worth, Cyberpunk 2077 is worth the price I paid for it. The malign it received was well-deserved, but its progress from its disastrous launch should also be recognized.

The reality is that the history of how it was presented will always be a part of its redemption story. The incompetence of its managerial choices will always conflict with the efforts of its development team to right the ship. I hope CD Projekt Red learns from these experiences as they ramp up production for the sequel.

The game is an impressive achievement in realizing Pondesmith's vision into something we can all experience. It deserves credit for that. However, its flaws will be a part of that experience for the duration that we play and engage with it.

But the framework is there for something unique. It may not be realized for this version as there will not be any more significant upgrades to the game, but I've shown that good can become great with a little more imagination and social awareness about who is playing.

It will be interesting to see what direction the franchise goes in the future.

In the beginning, Play Vicious was an experiment at trying my hand at running my social media platform. An attempt to set up it independent of everything except my own will and skills to keep it running. In this sense, PV was a resounding success.

Many will talk about my alleged influence on the fedi as one of the first (if not the first) prominent Black-led instances in that space, but for me, my main goal was to see if I could do it. It became something more, of course, but for me personally, just being up and having the ability to talk to people was a massive win.

But what came next was a series of events that left me stunned, wounded, and honestly considering leaving the fedi altogether. Content warning for the rest of the piece because you're going to see all kinds of racist and anti-Black language and behavior.

The constant of being Black and online is that we have to deal with hate constantly. It's just part of the reality of existing as a non-white person in spaces populated by white people. As such, I've seen my fair share of hate speech and harassment online and off. I expected to have that same experience as Play Vicious, and its staff became increasingly popular in this space.

One of the things that drew me to the fedi the most was its prominent queer culture. Personally, I lean more toward the non-binary side than not, so I felt PV would be a natural fit, especially considering the team was queer as well. My politics are also left-leaning, so I assumed I would find genuine connections in this space as many marginalized identities existed here.

Looking back now, my enthusiasm for connecting with different kinds of communities overshadowed my general caution when it came to anticipating the hateful and disgusting behavior that I experienced as an outspoken and highly visible Black administrator in a predominantly white space. I assumed that because many people on the fedi knew what it was to be excluded, ostracized, and ridiculed for our identities, there would be much more effort to find our commonalities and work to make our communities safer.

This assumption turned out to be one of the worst decisions I made as an administrator on the fedi because I underestimated how violent and unrepentant whiteness was and how hard it worked to keep the fedi as white as possible, no matter how one identified.

If I had to name one situation that reminded me in no uncertain terms that the fedi wanted to be a safe space for white people only, it was an interaction I had with Noelle, the then administrator of elekk.xyz.

For a time, I had a friendly relationship with that instance. That all changed when I had what I thought, at the time, was a minor disagreement with Noelle. I'm a sarcastic person with a very dry sense of humor, so I laughed it off and kept it moving, expecting apparent misalignment on a trivial matter to pass in time.

What I did not expect was a plethora of accusations and racist taunts from supporters of Noelle based on our disagreement and her conclusion that I was transphobic, and that's why I disagreed with her.

This accusation was one of the primary catalysts that led to a long stream of harassment against my instance and team that lasted for weeks, which resulted in my blocking all communication with that instance.

I was stunned at how quickly the situation escalated to harassment and abuse by the same people who had said that they wanted to create a safe space for Black and Brown people. I was stunned at how quickly a friendly relationship had turned into a toxic one based on such a minor incident. And what shocked me was how many people joined in to harass and abuse me and the team and PV based on the word of one white person who had instigated an anti-Black backlash so vile that many people decided to leave the fedi altogether.

It was a hard lesson, but it reminded me that whiteness would always assert itself when it felt it was threatened. White people on the fedi would weaponize anything to perpetuate harm against people where it was deemed appropriate.

It was here where I learned that all people who profess to want safe spaces for Black people on the fedi were not being honest and only engaged with this sentiment as a performance because they want to be viewed as left-leaning people and not bigots.

These accusations of transphobia followed PV around even though there was no evidence of them, and no attempt was made to engage me about the possibility of it happening. I have no problem with admitting I make mistakes because I'm a person just like everyone else. Still, I'm not going to interact with people that call me 'monkey,' 'nigger', or 'darkie' because they feel entitled to doing so based on an unsubstantiated rumor. This refusal to engage with people who felt like it was okay to engage me using slurs only encouraged people to abuse PV more.

Unfortunately, it did not stop with elekk. Instances such as witches.live run by Anna, a notorious bad actor, and mysasstodon.xyz would further instigate harm against PV by continuing unproven rhetoric that only enabled harassment to continue.

The most interesting part for me wasn't the accusations because they always happen. I don't mind accusations because misunderstandings happen. What got my attention was the glee and enthusiasm many people displayed when attacking us. I say attacking specifically because these places did not attempt to have a civil conversation about perceived slights and misunderstandings so that a safe space could be created amid conflict. There was no space to air our grievances so we could address them for community building. From my perspective, it seemed many just wanted the abuse to continue, which prompted our decision to eliminate communication with other popular instances.

I wish I could say the abuse subsided eventually, but that is not the case. As popular as PV was, there was a sizeable contingent of people who did not want us to exist in the fedi. It felt that there was more patience for outright white nationalist and Nazi-sympathizing instances in the fedi than there was for a place that centered on the needs of Black and Brown people and was unapologetic about creating a space for them.

This context of a lack of space given to us, an instance run by Black and Brown people, is an important one to remember because it's a critical element of the culture of white supremacy. The expectation that we have to be perfect in our responses to harassment or that we are unworthy of civility is a specific cultural marker. The idea that we have to center the sensibilities of white-identified people for us to have some measure of peace is a trait that was constantly forced upon us in an attempt to get us to conform to the predominant culture on the fedi.

This context of assimilating or else in the fedi was a constant pain point for Play Vicious. As spectacular as the experience was being such a unique place in the fedi and me being viewed as one of its architects, there was also a constant savage and vicious opposition to our existence that would never leave us alone. As great as it was to have the ability to build and run our space as we saw fit, there was a perpetual malicious effort to burn our work to the ground and erase the thought of us. And we are not the only people to notice this antagonism of Black and Brown bodies.

There will never be a moment when I will regret setting up Play Vicious and being an outspoken advocate for safe online spaces for Black and Brown folks. But the utter violence my team and I experienced while running PV will always make that history complicated. The way people hated us and wanted to harm us simply because we wanted to go our path stays with me to this day.

And as the lack of Black and Brown voices in the fediverse shows, this culture of torment and abuse is still very much alive.

So when I think about the moderation team I had the privilege of working with as the founder and co-admin of Play Vicious, I can't lie about how proud and grateful I was and still am about working with such a complicated and dynamic group of people. We were razor-sharp, engaging, organic, dangerous, and talented. Even today, I wouldn't consider myself the leader but rather a part of a team that was so well-balanced and potent that I have yet to duplicate that experience. It was just one of a kind, man, and far ahead of its time.

Let's talk about Deni, Jacky, and Mo.

I've already talked about how Marcia and I formed the basis for PV, and she was becoming a force in her own right, so I met Mo and Deni through her.

The first thing that stood out to me about Deni was her work. Her illustration work is incredible. I often ask specific questions about their work, and of course, I would express how much I just dug looking at the stuff they were putting out. We started to talk to each other regularly, and our politics aligned in several ways, so we quickly became cool with each other.

I reached out to Jacky as I knew him from my Twitter days and knew pretty early on that he was the younger, better-looking, brighter version of me. Watching what he was talking about and doing was a good idea. His technical prowess was formidable, but we connected around the why of technology rather than the how. In this sense, our answers to these questions were often aligned, so I knew he could be a great asset to PV and learn a lot from him and his compelling opinions about the culture of technology. I knew there was no technical issue we couldn't diagnose and fix between him and me, so his addition was huge to my peace of mind.

Mo was an extremely talented designer who became my go-to when looking for help with some of Mastodon's UI features and visual elements, namely adding and creating emoticons. As a designer myself, we would get into conversations about color theory and share our frustrations about being not white in the tech industry. We soon became friends as we regularly interacted to discuss the industry and talk shit. She was already cool with Marcia as they had been engaging for a time, so she was just a natural fit for the growing squad.

There wasn't some grand moment where we decided to be a dynamic and multifaceted collection of people with a stated ethos for how we wanted to run the instance. There was no formal declaration concerning how we tried to set the standards for PV. We were people from different backgrounds who saw an opportunity to work together with fantastic people we probably wouldn't have met any other way.

Yes, it was sometimes challenging. We were all talented and complex people embarking on an unlikely endeavor with virtual strangers. Each of us had thoughts, ideas, convictions, and reservations about what online space should be and represent. Ha, and to be quite honest, they rarely aligned.

I'm not arrogant enough to speak about what the experience was like for them. Still, these tangled interactions and conversations produced an unexpected area to explore and express many parts of myself that I usually kept to myself. I got to show the subtle elements of my personality that were generally painted over with narrow labels and identifiers that did not have enough space to encapsulate who I was entirely. This space affirmed parts of my sensibilities, and others were challenged based on our divergent experiences in the world. Many nights, I would stay up and think about thoughts and ideas from a perspective I had yet to consider.

And I absolutely loved it. It was a strange combination of raw, authentic honesty balanced with care and consideration born from a desire to create a space that would be a soft space to land. We didn't pull punches with each other, but it was never cruel or hostile. None of us wanted to hide what we were, but we didn't want that to hinder anyone else from expressing themselves.

The stringent moderation style PV would eventually be known for was a by-product of how the team interacted. We built a diverse and dynamic community because that's what we were inherently. We all knew what it was like to be marginalized in our own ways, and we were all invested in doing what we could to minimize that experience in this new and unexplored online space called the fediverse. And we were all determined to do it together.

I was honored to be a part of that. I didn't realize until after PV shutdown how unique we were and how special the team was.

If there is one thing I regret about PV, I could not create a wholly insular and safe space for those who had decided to join that instance. I set that instance up as an experiment I wanted to try with friends, but it became so much more. The pieces were there, but I did not expect the space to become as popular as it was, nor the amount of attention it received, positive and negative.

I did not realize how novel the experience of PV was to the point that I spent a lot of time trying to quantify it rather than discover better ways to preserve it. Of course, there is no way I could anticipate everything, but I often feel like I missed the forest for the trees, if you will.

But even with my shortcomings aside, I will be forever grateful for the people that helped me manage that place. Their candor, patience, and sheer brilliance opened me up to possibilities I had not considered because I usually worked in isolation and made me realize there are things I cannot accomplish alone.

And it made me better. Not just as a weirdo, creative dude that spends too much time staring at lines of code and color palettes. But also as a person.

It was a moment in time I will never forget.

You're worth it.

As a veteran of many social media platforms, I remember my first few weeks as an admin in the fedi. I felt like an explorer in a strange new digital landscape. No altogether unfamiliar but different enough that it felt like a unique space. My background made the tech issues manageable, and my time on said other platforms contributed to me finding my footing quickly. It was undoubtedly a strange and new environment, but I had a few advantages coming in, so it felt manageable. I felt like a natural because picking it up was easy. It was a lot of fun.

And those first few weeks in the fediverse felt like a new journey. Yes, the part about running my own social media platform was cool, but the magic for me was meeting people I probably wouldn't have if I hadn't joined the fedi. Sure, there were pockets of subcultures on centralized platforms. But the commonality of having to play by the same set of (often discriminatory) rules contributed to the feeling of a homogenized experience as if we had to engage in a specific way. And many of them were not healthy.

But in the fedi, people could make whatever circles they wanted. In the course of a day, I would see furry communities, a smattering of sex workers plying their trade, random hobbyist technologists making weird things that were of no use to anyone but still cool as hell, people that posted nonsense for the sake of silliness and so on and so on. It was just wide open here in a way that I hadn't experienced in a long time. I would have been overwhelmed if I wasn't so enamored with seeing it all. And I wanted to see it all.

Also, and most importantly, the influence of Marcia cannot be overstated in the beginning. I knew early on her blend of intelligence, charisma, and kindness would be influential in a space where she could just be herself. I was extremely fortunate that she accepted my offer to be a moderator and eventual admin of PV. The insights she gifted me in the first weeks of our journey into the fediverse were critical to the developing culture. Her presence improved my ideas for social media space in ways I needed to think about. Play Vicious was what it turned out to be with her involvement.

At the time, I didn't realize how unique our partnership was. The nature of our friendship had always been a kaleidoscope of subjects ranging from good books to lousy tv shows with a bit of social theory and irreverence. We skipped topic to topic, laughed at some, and vehemently disagreed about a few. There wasn't a particular style to how we interacted; it was just organic and open. We talked about what we wanted to talk about in a nonjudgmental space that was always enthusiastic and warm. It was just our vibe.

That vibe would be the foundation of Play Vicious. The improbable combination of a straight Black dude who had a peculiar but compelling perspective of the world and an extensive technical background and a non-binary Afro-Latinx who simultaneously possessed an intimidating body of knowledge about how culture is created, applied and sustained in combination with a natural gravity that just drew people in. Admittedly I had taken this mix for granted because I was used to it. I didn't even realize how special it was until I experienced it through the eyes of people that experienced our dynamic for the first time. Honestly, I didn't have any grandiose ideas to make PV this unique thing that was separate from the other instances in the fedi. It just was because that's what we were.

The amalgamation of my tech prowess, dry humor, and candid commentary with Marcia's razor-sharp cultural analysis and infectious charm catalyzed the popularity and visibility of my little social experiment. At the time, I thought people were just mesmerized by the idea of an instance not led by white tech dudes, but now, I cannot deny how fresh our perspective was in that space. I am trying to remember other sites talking about the wide range of topics we engaged in from a cultural perspective. Sure, some were about the analysis, but we thought differently and knew how to express it with precision and enthusiasm. Engaging with PV was fucking fun.

Of course, with the fedi being a decidedly white space, not all greeted PV with warm intentions. Unfortunately, we had to deal with quite a few people who did not want to see a platform such as ours gain prominence, but I'll get to that a little later.

Because in the beginning, the sum of Marcia's and my collaboration was much more than our parts. Even I was surprised by the level of engagement and sheer attention we were getting initially.

It didn't take much to realize that we would need some help soon.

This was when I started to think about what kind of team I wanted to support what we were doing at PV. Ha, and what transpired next turned out to be one of the most satisfying and affirming experiences of my online life.

With the name decided, the domain purchased, server space bought, and molding my alcoholism in a somewhat functional state, it was time to set up to do what I came here to do: set up my own Mastodon instance.

The docs themselves were pretty good, but admittedly I didn't have much experience with Rails (mostly because I'm not a fan of 37signals, but that's another story for another time). Still, I'm a quick study of programming languages, so after a couple of tutorials and a bit of trial and error later, I was comfortable with starting the process of getting my own little social media space up and running.

One thing I remember vividly through the haze of post-breakup blues and too much drinking was how the excitement of trying something new cut through the fog of depression I was experiencing. I didn't know what I was doing completely, but figuring it out gave me a level of focus I hadn't experienced in quite some time. I quickly fell into a pattern of tinkering, breaking something, looking it up, and tinkering again, and it was glorious. Heuristic learning has always been my happy place, and it felt right to be in that space again.

There were many moving parts to Mastodon, so it wasn't the easy piece of software I've set up, but it wasn't the hardest either, so the installation went by quickly. I was in the mood for complicated tasks because I was determined to see if I could get it working, but I was pleasantly surprised it wouldn't be as difficult as I thought.

So after a bit of command line magic and patience, I was up and running, and I posted my first-ever note on Playvicios Social:

(If you don't know what this is from, there's a good chance we won't be friends.)

For a time, I loved Twitter. It was my favorite of all the platforms because of the instantaneous nature of communication worldwide. My friends were there. People who I wanted to know but didn't were on there. News platforms and people on the ground were there. It was so much of everything right at your fingertips and glorious.

My distaste for it began when I noticed that I was seeing content that I was not interested in more and more in my feed. White men complain about trivial things. Various news networks were pushing the latest anti-black nonsense. Police unions were getting increasingly aggressive about their lies to justify hurting people. And in general, just being shown more hateful content from people I did not seek out or follow. Of course, it was later revealed this was intentional. Still, at that time, it didn't take a lot of thought to see yet another social media platform was trying to maximize its engagement by whatever means necessary, no matter how toxic, damaging or dangerous.

I had built up a decent following over time. Still, I didn't join Twitter to be a Thing™. I joined for the culture. And now that the platform aggressively curated that culture in a way that I felt kept people from connecting authentically, the charm quickly wore off.

The fediverse was an entirely different experience altogether. I didn't have algorithms suggesting people I was not interested in or a typical list of trending tags. It was... open. I had to find people to follow. I had to find the topics I was interested in. My experience on mstdn.io (which I eventually de-federated with, but we'll get to that later) was singular; if I didn't want that experience, I could do something else. It felt wild and untamed.

This appealed to me because I was a product of the IRC era. I spent many a night in front of a computer tapping out my thoughts in a terminal, talking to people from who knows where about who knows what. Sure, there was plenty of racism and ugliness in those spaces, but there was something pure about the unfiltered nature of it. In these places, I learned how to deal with hateful people (because I love trolling trolls) and even build my communities, so I didn't have to deal with it. Of course, the population in those spaces was limited because it took a certain amount of technical know-how to set them up. It wasn't the most popular way to communicate in those days, and honestly, many people that frequented those places were just assholes, but it still had its own set of charms that kept me coming back.

When I first started using Mastodon, it reminded me of those days. The uncurated days. The unfiltered and independent days but in a much more friendly package to everyday people, which was a big motivator for me. Sure I had to figure it out because it was still broadly a community of tight-lipped and often smug tech people, but the exploration and discovery aspect of being on the fedi more than offset that for me. I just wanted to see what was out there.

I'll be the first to acknowledge the fediverse has its problems that must be dealt with if it has any hope of being the defacto network for everyone on the web, but those first couple of weeks were bizarre and unique. Marica had decided to join my instance, and she would ask about the particulars of how things worked, and I remember telling her I didn't know I would have to find out. That was fun for me. The journey from going unfamiliar to familiar in a new space was one I wholly embraced, mainly because it was on me to figure out so I could set the tone of my specific environment.

I got to set that tone. Not a manager I would ever meet. Not an over-populated platform that didn't care about making spaces better for human communication. Here, I was not burdened by outside whims that could dictate what I did and didn't do by values hostile to people like me.

It was a massive challenge that I embraced. It was an opportunity to make a space solely and specifically for the weird and the strange—a place for me and my people.

It was a new opportunity to create differently. Ha, and it let me think about something other than my ex when I smoked on my porch at night.

It wasn't quite a new day, but it would do in the meantime.

I attended UMBC. I transferred in as a junior and chose to major in Graphic Design because 1. I was in a deep love affair with digitized layout and design, and 2. I had to find something else to put my passion into because even though I deeply loved photography, the chemicals involved in the development process would make me so nauseous I could only be in the lab for moments at a time. This was one of the more unfortunate developments of my creative life because it was only a couple of years before digital photography became the standard. Ha, I'm still salty about that.

In any event, I was not a particularly good student, nor did I enjoy school. I did it mainly because my parents encouraged me to do and at that point, I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life, so it seemed like a good idea at the time.

However, while my other classes floundered because of my lack of interest and my on-and-off alcoholism (I know, it's a theme) that I leaned on to deal with being away from home for the first time in my life, it was here where I learned I had a particular gift when it came to design and layout. Sure, I had enjoyed it up until this point, but when teachers began critiquing my work, they would often comment on how clever and inventive my ideas were. One professor, in particular, said they couldn't teach me anything and said they would pass me if I showed up on critique days to show my work. These experiences changed my perspective on how far I could go as a working professional. It helped to reframe efforts from a fun hobby to a worthwhile pursuit and a form of expression.

Word of my skills got around campus quickly, and I started designing for administration offices, social clubs, and event promotors. Of course, I wasn't paid well, but I loved the experience because I could sit in front of a computer and make stuff all day and make some money. This was perfect because I still did not know how to interact with the world outside that context.

My favorite place to work on campus was the Rathskellar which was in the basement of the Hillcrest, an old sanitarium (no, I'm not joking) that was converted into an event space. It was affectionately called the Ratt for short and was a very popular space for campus club events such as music shows, potlucks, parties, and fraternity functions. Its student administrator, Kevin, was a friend of mine, so he often asked me to design promos and merch for the space. In exchange, he gave me free access to the computer there, so I didn't have to fight people for open computers in the labs to do my coursework. A fun side effect was it was here where I met a lot of women who asked Kevin about the shirt designs the space would put out, and he would point them to me. Ha, the weird kid with the big ears who was always doing computer shit. Kevin was a hell of a wingman, so it was fun.

So I was doing some coursework on the night of a big event, but I wasn't feeling up to being around a whole bunch of people, so I stayed in the main office and worked. However, one of the people who put on that particular event that night, Vanya, knew how much I liked local hip-hop, so she came into the office and said I have to meet a local talent who went by Savidge Gawd. I still didn't want to go, but I have a weakness for insistent pretty women, so eventually, I relented and went with her to the main event space to see who she was talking about.

Immediately I didn't like the guy. I thought he was dismissive of Vanya when she enthusiastically said we should meet because he was a budding graphic designer in his own right, in addition to his music. I was turned off when I stuck out my hand in greeting and tepidly shook it without even looking at me. Still, this seemed like someone my friend thought highly off, so, in my awkward way, I tried to be friendly and talk to him about the artists I liked, who I thought was hot, and even if he had anything, I could listen to. His responses consisted of slight nods or shrugs while sipping whatever was in his cup. Eventually, I felt foolish and just walked away, returning to my lair of design and solitude, irritated at his casual disinterest.

A few days later, I got an email from someone named Quentin asking me about a recent website I had built for the Black Student Union on campus. He said he heard about it from a mutual acquaintance and was impressed by it, so he wanted to reach out to whoever did it for a possible collaboration. We made plans to link up, and I didn't realize who he was until I saw him in person. It was the same Savidage Gawd dickhead I met a few nights before. To say I was skeptical was an understatement.

However, much to my surprise, after we talked for a bit, we both realized we had a lot in common. We were both deep into music and design and big video game heads with a particular affinity for Soul Caliber (he was one of three people that could beat me regularly, and it would drive me NUTS). We also had difficulty making friends because of our wide range of interests and hobbies. Once we got past the debacle of our initial meeting, we quickly became good friends and collaborated on quite a few projects through his design imprint, OmegaDawn. We would spend many nights at his place working, and on occasion, people from the neighborhood would come by to hang out.

Over time, a community of artists formed around our regular meet-ups. Musicians, designers, writers, poets, and everything in between would congregate at Quentin's place to work, drink, do drugs, play video games, hook up, or whatever else we felt like doing. We didn't have a particular reason for getting together, and it wasn't on a schedule. But when it did happen, it always became an event of wildly creative people figuring out who we were by indulging our vices and enthusiasm in a space that created itself as a response to the kind of environment we wanted and probably needed.

Coming from a rigorous and conservative background, I had never experienced anything like this. The fevered sweet madness of free-flowing ideas and concepts coupled with an unprecedented range of people from all backgrounds who would indulge my comprehensive knowledge of my interests and share their own with the same force and joy I had. Our interactions were raw, compelling, thought-provoking, sensual, and organic. I felt free in a way I hadn't anywhere else.

It turned out to be one of the most significant moments in my development as a creative. A peak into what Shangri-la could look like for me if I dared to be myself in front of other people and the intense, enthralling beauty of connecting with like-minded strange souls that had personalities that didn't fit any particular box.

I'm not a business person or an entrepreneur. I don't care about building companies in my image, and I am for damn sure not a fan of capitalism. But I needed to remember these moments that nurtured my confidence as an expressive, dynamic, and weird person. I needed to crystalize the feeling and ethos of those times because they meant so much to me and defined the context of why I wanted to dedicate my life to creating and pursuing how to do it to the best of my ability and as authentically as I can. And how a community of diverse people worked to build that space so we could do that together.

Play Vicious was how I named that experience. The energetic, unfiltered, sometimes uncomfortable, but the relentlessly progressive pursuit of understanding ourselves through creativity. It defined us as a group of thinking and feeling people who wanted to burn away all unnecessary details and get to the essence of why we loved what we loved and exist in that space for however long we could.

In many ways, Play Vicious Social was a love note to those moments. An attempt to rekindle the creative altruism that had been ground down by years of corporate drudgery and restraining my expression, uniqueness, and ideas so I could survive in a space that did not reward those traits. An experiment if I could find the most genuine expression of self again and build a new community around it.

But if I was going to try something as original as running my own social media platform, it had to be for the right reasons.

And PV was always my reason.

I've been running my email for years. I host my cloud service. I still use RSS to this day because it's still one of the single most valuable protocols ever invented. So my interest was piqued when I heard about a young dude from Germany building a platform that approximates Twitter but can be installed anywhere one chooses.

Of course, I wasn't at my best mentally due to my lack of sleep and excessive drinking. Fortunately, I had some savings from a few gigs I worked on earlier in the year, so I was pretty cool money-wise, which was a good thing because I was in no condition to take on new clients.

But my formative years as a creative were made in the crucible of the New York City tech scene, where I had lived for close to a decade. I dealt with every issue imaginable, from server crashes to belligerent clients and project managers making last-second logo changes from small mom-and-pop shops to multinational conglomerates. And in a city that never slows down, one is rarely at total capacity from just having to survive life in the city. So learning something new while I was drunk and heartbroken didn't feel like that much of a lift.

So I did what most tech nerds do in this situation: read the docs.

I remember being surprised that the Masto docs were not poor. I had assumed that a young project would not have its information organized, but to my surprise, there was some intention to describe how Masto could be installed, maintained, and updated. I was impressed because it felt like an actual project rather than a hobby, which is what many open-source projects felt like.

Still, I wasn't ready to take on the challenge of setting up a new server. I wanted to start by making an account on a pre-existing instance (which is a server set up to host software that connects to the fediverse in this case Mastodon) to get a feel for how it moved. I didn't want to join the central instance because I just didn't. I wasn't looking to replicate my experience from Twitter, so I looked at the directory of sites that used the Mastodon framework to build a social media presence and decided to go with one that didn't have a particular theme. I wanted something general to see what people talked about.

I landed on mstdn.io and made an account.

Now, you have to understand that as a Black cishet dude with an advanced career as a creative tech freelancer, I'm pretty used to spaces that don't have many people who look like me. I had long become accustomed to navigating primarily white and male spaces, the demographic over-represented in the tech industry, so I had a frame of reference for what to expect as I logged into my first Mastodon instance.

Looking back, I can't say it was a terrible experience overall, but what surprised me was how concentrated the monoculture of white men of various tech skill levels present. It was aggressively white.

Most social media platforms are going to have a lot of white people. That's the reality of technology companies in most western countries. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc., all are like this. The thing of note is that other cultures involved have carved out space to form their specific niches on all these major platforms. So while many white folks populated them, they had a significant presence of other demographics, which gave it a more balanced feel. It's one of the reasons I stayed on Twitter for so long. The different subcultures in that space gave it flavor and uniqueness, Black Twitter being the most well-known.

Mstdn.io, at that time, didn't have that. It was populated with a cacophony of white guys talking over each other, constantly proclaiming how much they knew about some esoteric language. When I would attempt to get to know people on that platform, it usually resulted in some sanctimonious explanation about the basics of programming that was supposed to make me realize how great Mastodon was. And more often than not, that condescension was casually flavored with a disdain for people who were not white, male, and had some technical know-how about... something.

Another situation that immediately jumped out at me was the complete lack of moderation. Sure, people were talking about dogs and cats, their hobbies and families, and most of the obligatory things one shares in these spaces, but there was also comfort with casual bigotry. I would see memes with swastikas carelessly thrown about. I would see men make sexist jokes to each other and laugh at what they felt was clever misogyny. It was raw and out in the open in a way I hadn't seen because, at the very least, centralized platforms attempted to curtail this behavior. That effort didn't exist here.

I knew pretty quickly Mstdn.io was not the place for me, so I closed my account a few days later.

I was still captivated by creating a self-contained social media platform where I could set the culture. I saw the potential for making an entirely new community without depending on an external service. A place truly for the people and by the people.

Seeing it as an opportunity to talk to Marcia about something other than relationship woes, I decided only to have one drink the day I called her to talk about it so I could be somewhat coherent. She had reservations when I spoke about my experience with mstdn.io. Still, she was open to at least making an account on something that I built and ran because she was intrigued by the idea of having a social media site that wasn't attached to anything, having shared many of my concerns with Twitter.

The next day, using my curiosity as fuel, I decided to get up and clean up my place, go grocery shopping to make some real food, and shower. I wanted to get myself in a stable place to dig into what it took to run a Mastodon instance.

That was the same day I bought the play vicious social domain and a new server for my first experiment into the fediverse.

I wasn't sure what I was doing, but I knew I wanted to try. And that sense of purpose and enthusiasm to figure out something new pushed me to get out of my stupor and contemplate something other than the abrupt ending of my relationship.

One that has always been consistent with me as a person is my love of learning. And now that I had something to focus on, that love was pulling me slowly out of a dark place I had been in for a while.

And that night was the first time in a long time I didn't wake up before the sun came up.

I was up because I couldn't sleep. It was around my fourth or fifth week in Mexico after I had left Belize, where I had lived for the last two and a half years. I had initially moved there with my partner, whom I had met in NYC, where it quickly got serious. We had been together for three years before we decided to move to another place and build a life together. At the time, it felt like it was the right decision.

What happened and led to us splitting up is a story for another time, but I couldn't sleep because I was still reeling from the end of the longest relationship I had ever had and was on my own again for the first time in five years. My anger, sadness, and deep hurt were all mixing to form this slurry of emotion that resulted in me crying and drinking most of the time to get some relief. The constant ache of missing someone I know isn't good for me turned me into a zombie; I shuffled around to ensure my basic needs were met, but I didn't do much else—the night of the Not Living.

My last place in Cancun was a bedroom that someone was renting out of their house. It was hot as hell, but it did have a nice balcony so I could get some air that broke up my routine of weeping, smoking, and drinking. It seems odd, but I will remember that room fondly because it was where I started putting myself back together. But the next place I got had to have air conditioning.

I had been regularly getting up in the middle of the night because I had difficulty finding balance with the sudden and unexpected changes. Back then, I used to smoke cigarettes, so I would go out on my balcony (yes, this place had a balcony, too. I like balconies) and burn through a few so I could get that sweet nicotine high which would slow me down enough to get some rest. I had a steady diet of that and alcohol that I switched back and forth between them to deal with heartbroken insomnia. Balance is important.

During the days, if I had chores to run, I would paint on a brave face armed with an arsenal of poorly pronounced Spanish words and phrases and go about my business. I'm pretty charming, so I would smile and try to speak the language, usually met with appreciation or laughter. To be honest, both were comforting.

Some days were better than others. There were days when I could dart in and out of the shop, drop some pesos, and be out, easy peasy. On other days, my stress and sadness would get so bad sometimes I broke out in a sweat to the point that the attendants would ask if I was ok. Here, I learned the effectiveness of slowing yourself down and focusing on the green floor, the blue door, the purple pack of... whatever. Going outside was not my favorite thing.

I wouldn't shower and stay online when I wasn't up for going outside. I didn't want to talk about anything specific, just anything to get my mind off of my current situation. I had a decent following on Twitter then, so I had no shortage of people that wanted to engage, for which I was thankful.

Twitter was also where I met Marcia, AKA ArtistMarciaX, and we connected as nerds do over our shared loved of quirky sci-fi shows, Firefly specifically. We would go on and on about details from the episodic that nobody else cared about. But we did. And a strange friendship was born.

As it turned out, she was one of the people I leaned on the most when my sorrow hit me the heaviest. She would let me babble and snot and cry about how devastated I was and gently sprinkle in some world of affirmation to get me to reflect on a particular point I had made. No, she didn't put me back together. That was my job. But she did give me someone to talk to, so I could start putting away the broken shards of my relationship and move on.

I'll never forget that.

So on that night, I was up again, and I didn't want to bother her because I had already been giving her so much of my sorrows. After all, even I knew she was too nice to say she needed a break. So I poured a glass of straight vodka, cracked open my laptop, and went back to Birdland to see what was happening. Anything was better than just dwelling and thinking about Sad Things.

Earlier that day, I had started a conversation about alternate forms of social media because I was/am a self-hosting person, and my distaste for Twitter was reaching the same crescendo as Facebook, which I had left entirely a few years before. The brilliant and talented Catts Small had responded to a tirade I made while I was drunk earlier in the day, which I wasn't sure was coherent as I read it back, but thankfully she is so much smarter than I am and figured it out.

And her message cut through the stupor of my messy and inebriated state.

"Hey, have you ever checked out this platform called Mastodon?"

Ok, so the title of this post might be a bit on the dramatic side. No, I'm not saying I lack entirely emotional engagement with other people. Ha, that would put me in a category of personal challenges that I probably wouldn't talk about online.

But a close friend of mine asked me recently if I had missed anyone. You know, like really craved the presence of someone specific when they are not around. And, to be very honest, I couldn't answer.

It's not like I don't remember that feeling because I do. But it's been a while since I've been in that space. Or perhaps it is more accurate to say I haven't allowed myself to go to that space. Until I was asked the question, I never really thought about it.

I'm not exactly sure when it happened, but I don't think it was one specific event.

Perhaps it's the result of an accumulation of absorbed less than positive exchanges with family where I'm left with the task of making sense of people who allegedly love you and hurting you in such specific and devastating ways. Or maybe dealing with the ongoing disappointment of people judging the kind of person you are based on their usually very racist gut feeling. It could be navigating the treacherous waters of dating and trying to be vulnerable and open despite knowing many people will not appreciate the effort it takes to stay in the place.

As life goes, it's most likely a subtle combination of all these things.

But at some point, I numbed part of my emotional self to deal with the uncertainty and the danger of trying to be a decent person in an indecent society, where constant violence and injustice are blasted from every media platform. Of course, this does not represent the totality of the world, but being shown the worst on a loop is... taxing.

And to some extent, I think we all do. Living in a culture where capitalism rules everything around us is tough, man. However, I don't realize how blunted I have become. There's just an emotional pitch I will not go to because that means being invested in a way that has not always worked out so well for me. And while my waking mind forgets as it prioritizes, the trauma of it stays in the body, like being unable to move a particular way after a significant injury. The result is just there.

I'm not necessarily afraid of connecting with people because I still dig the experience of good company. One of my safe spaces is just kicking it among people I like. That's fun. But a stress response still happens at the idea of connecting beyond the initial pleasantries. I have a visceral feeling of dread at the thought of going deeper.

As my therapist says, I know I must be patient and let it take its course. There is a point of origin, and I must go through that process to discover and adjust. It's not something that's going to be fixed overnight. And there is an unquestionable comfort that comes from naming a challenge.

But it's startling to realize how much one can be conditioned to float from who one is for the sake of survival and being able to get through the day. That said, I think I've been on autopilot for a while, and I need to be more intentional about making space for myself instead of trying to adapt to whatever I come across.

This one is an idea one weekend when I was thinking about how hard I am on myself when no one is looking. I spend a lot of time thinking and theorizing to the point of inaction when it comes to my work, so I just wanted to visualize what it looks like sometimes.

Ha, it's not a perfect representation, but it's pretty close.

Personally, moments of profound transition have always been marked with a tumultuous and uncomfortable feeling of unease and instability to the extent that if I don't feel these things, I wonder if anything worthwhile is happening. That fundamental disquiet has always been a marker that Personal Growth™ was happening.

This is not to say it is not here to some extent as I start my journey into therapy. There is still that less than surefooted and ultra cautiousness that comes with moving forward into unfamiliar territory. A deep personal inventory is still anxiety-inducing. Being honest with oneself isn't always velvet ropes and champagne dreams.

Perhaps I've found a relative comfort with being uncomfortable as I visit some of the places in my personality that don't see much sunlight. Maybe I've become so used to the constant loop of reassessing, applying, and adjusting that that off-putting feeling of not being quite balanced at any given moment that reeling all the time feels like a lifestyle.

Ha, ok, that's not exactly true. I'm still just as anxious as ever.

My methodology around assessment has always happened in a vacuum, save for the moments I have decided are appropriate to open to close friends, family, etc. Even in these moments, it feels like I am retelling my vulnerabilities for transparency rather than bringing them into my process. Not because the desire to include them in that way isn't there, but I believe the bulk of responsibility for dealing with the not-so-savory parts of my personality falls with me. We all have our daily struggles.

So while the experience of being radically open is new, and I am still orienting myself around it, there is an unexpected level of affirmation and comfort that I am experiencing because of deciding to engage the traumas and hurts that stand between me actively and being whole thinking and feeling empathetic person. A level of peace has come along with investing myself in that way, even though I still don't have all the answers to my innermost challenges.

Yes, it's true. I am a mess as I lay bear the issues that have haunted me for years. I still have moments of acute anxiety to the point that all I want to do is stay in my room with the curtains drawn. I'm still that person.

But there is a confidence that comes with having the audacity to dare to be better. To look your experiences in the face and decide they will not define you. You will define yourself.

Knowing that truth is one thing but feeling it in your body is awesome to the extent that I can't quantify it with words at the moment.

In the interests of radical openness, I don't get it. I don't understand how a man can be romantically attracted to another man. I have affection for my guys, and I don't mind expressing it, but for me, that's never graduated to a level of wanting physical intimacy with another handsome fella.

That said, I am fortunate for my experiences because they led me not to have to understand the specifics ins and outs of LGBTQI+ culture to support the space they are trying to carve out for themselves. Because what I do understand is the deep and fundamental desire to make a place where you belong and feel safe. In this context, which one wants to share their body with is irrelevant.

I waited until Pride was over to express this because I didn't want to take up what little spaces they had to focus on my thoughts. I also don't want to be viewed as unique, brave, etc., because I don't believe it takes any of that to connect with another human being. But I want to share why I think we as cishet folks should be supporting Pride because our fight is the same whether you identify as queer or not.

I see a lot of mainstream narratives around the visibility of queer causes and advocacy gaining momentum to the point certain people are worried about the hilariously dubbed Gay Agenda, as if it is a covert ecumenical plot to displace straight people from the completely made-up hierarchy of gender. A hierarchy that has been brutally and grossly enforced in several ways gives credence to the idea it is more a social construct than a biological one.

There have been many, let's call them 'theories' as to why LGBTQI+ initiatives have been getting so much attention. Generally, I find the ones coming from people who identify as straight to be utterly ridiculous, most notably the recent idea that queer folks are 'grooming' young people to exploit them as if old straight men haven't been doing that since... well forever. I believe there is an effort to objectify youth in Western cultures sexually. Still, that conversation has to start with straight men, who have been celebrating grooming young women as a necessary part of building a relationship that they will value. I think it's fair to say a lot of straight people's distaste for engaging in the convo around rights for gay, bi, and trans folks revolve around their projections rather than the fundamental point of people fighting for the right to exist as they are. And the word for that is bigotry.

Fortunately, people belonging to those communities are speaking for themselves, and that's where I find far more insightful commentary on their motivations to continue pushing despite consequences of being openly at odds with the status quo. It is here in their words and expressed experience where I find an easy point of connection. This particular thought by Alok Menon is a beautiful summation of my feeling about why I think we, as straight folks, should not only be respectful of queer spaces but fight for their expansion.

As I stated previously, I don't understand all of the specific complexities of being attracted to the same sex, but I do understand the desire to be free and whole. As a Black guy that has grown up in a country that doesn't like Black people, I wholeheartedly understand the desire to create a space where I feel cared for, safe, loved, and at peace. I've been fighting my fight for this kind of space for a long time. And the more I take the time to be quiet and listen, the more I realize that I have far more in common with the LGBTQI+ community than not. While not wholly identical, our struggles overlap significantly because we both want the same thing.

And that's to have the freedom to define ourselves and our spaces as we see fit. And that's a struggle I want to be a part of, no matter how one identifies. I don't want my relationships to be dictated by my biases and prejudices out of the abstract fear that I am losing something by supporting someone else who isn't like me. I want my perspectives and views to be expansive enough to include everyone without forcing them to reduce what they are for comfort. My progress to become a whole person will not come at someone else's expense. It doesn't need to, especially when other people try to attain the same for themselves.

Honestly, you probably won't see me at any parades wearing anything provocative. Ha, I'm a lowkey who doesn't like a lot of attention. But I will ardently support and advocate for anyone who wants to create better spaces for themselves and their people, free of violence and full of love and acceptance. That struggle is my own.

And that desire to be accepted and embraced as a complete and complex person is a beautiful goal to aspire to.

Honestly, I don't I can tell you when it happened.

It might have been the first time I was called nigger by a random white kid, whose sneering face told me he knew he was wrong but he also didn't care, flexing the privilege of being favored in a bigoted society.

Or maybe it was the smugness of a hiring manager that had never done the kind of work I do, saying that while my background was 'cool', they only hire European designers.

Whatever, the point is that I've been checked out from the fallacy of the mythical concept of the American Dream for a long time now. If I want fantasy, I'll watch Kingdom (it is very good).

So when I hear about yet another attempt by old white men to control the lives of citizens, I'm just... indifferent. Sure my initial reaction was disgust just like every other sensible human being but after I sat with it for a bit, I just don't care. The bigots that populate our government have made it very clear where they stand.

I don't care because I'm not going to build my life around reacting to a crisis after yet another crisis caused by the absurdity of hateful people. After all, they don't want to let people make their own decisions outside of capitalism. This has always been the case.

The banality of these repeated efforts to control our lives is sharply contrasted by the growing movement of us working together to improve our conditions in this place. People have given their entire lives to building these shaky edifices of exploitation using hate and malice only to see them on the verge of collapse as we exercise the simple act of existing in the fullness of who and what we are as people.

Who would have thought the end of capitalism would be accelerated by us simply deciding to rest more and use our labor for our benefit.

Unfortunately, we indeed have to expend so much effort to survive this madness. There is no denying the increase of violence among people that are hopelessly connected to the idea of a bigoted myopic society and desperately try to delay the inevitable from happening. Even as it harms them.

But even as these old and inadequate social perspectives crumble away, there is an opportunity for us to create new ways of living and interacting that are built around our shared human experience on the big blue marble and how there is enough of everything for us to all be ok.

We can just do better. And personally finding and building those networks are so much more interesting than trying to make shitty people less shitty.

I'm sure you've heard the news of yet another media platform being sold to an obscenely rich person, continuing an ongoing trend of obscenely rich people owning news networks. It's just kind of what rich people do to maintain the idea we need them. In the case of Musk, whose unethical and largely bigoted behavior has been well documented, it's pretty clear that he's buying one of the world's most trafficked sites because, well, he doesn't like people talking about the obviousness of his behavior. Despite their outlandish behavior, bigots are pretty sensitive people.

But I'm not here to talk about that. I want to talk about the conversation around people feeling unease about remaining on yet another platform dictated by the sensibilities of a rich bigot and the hopelessness of being able to be in safe spaces online.

What strikes me the most as I observe exchanges is how people feel better just isn't possible. I see constant lamentations around having to choose the lesser of however many evils are out there and not wanting to leave a platform where they've spent so much time building their livelihoods and their audience. Admittedly, I can't say I'm unsympathetic. The rise of social media has introduced opportunities to people, especially people like me, that simply didn't exist before. And we cannot talk about social media and not talk about the cultural juggernaut that is Black Twitter. Ha, if you know, you know.

I want to talk about the future. I want to talk about how we deserve better than to have to navigate the social sensibilities of platforms that favor violent hate that pushes engagement and punishes people who speak out against it.

Sure, there was a time when all we had were these platforms to connect and engage. But now we're pretty deep into the 21st century, we don't need to rely on any of these spaces anymore. At all. Why do I say that? Well, dear reader, I'm glad you asked.

In terms of services, there have been the mainstays that have generally been available for a long time. Their lack of proliferation was largely due to the complexity of setup and the technical knowledge one had to have to use them. Let's take email for example. I'm sure many people would like to have their private email, but using Google's mail service is just easier even in light of their nefarious data practices.

But that has changed. With the advent of tools such as the gorgeous YunoHost, it is now possible to have your sexy email with a few clicks. And not just that. Walk with me.

Want a cloud-based solution that backups your computer that has calendaring AND audio/video conferencing (that's HIPPA approved!)? Look at NextCloud. How about collaborative document editing and sharing? Collabora and Only Office has you covered. Want you're own blog to share your lovely thoughts with the world? Ghost, Grav, and of course WordPress are ready and waiting. Analytics tracking? That's Matomo. Newsletters and marketing management?? Listmonk and Mautic. Social media?? Misskey which I currently use and Mastodon(but be careful with them, their community is kinda racist but the work of Darius Kazemi is BRILLIANT) can get you on to the fediverse. You get the idea. There are a lot of great projects out there that can conceivably minimize and even end reliance on profit-driven and corporate services. I've been using quite a few of them myself for years. Ha, and even building my own.

But beyond all of the available tools, I want people to want more from their online experiences. Being a person that has worked professionally on the web for more than 20 years, I understand the challenges of having to adapt to an increasingly digital landscape that seems to be getting more complex by the minute. However, at some point, we have to decide want kind of communities and platforms we want to commit to. Do want to use places that are built with our interests in mind or continue to use platforms that dictate how they want us to conform while becoming increasingly toxic and harmful.

There is an entirely different digital life that exists outside of what we have been forced to use for so many years. A digital experience that can be so much better with a little bit of effort and a lot of collaboration built with love and empathy for the human experience built into its bones.

And honestly, we deserve that shit.

Back in the day, when I was learning some advanced photo editing techniques, I experimented with different types of methodology just to see what it would do. I think I was going through something at the time because what began as image manipulation turned into me just experimenting and trying things for hours.

I found a few of them in my ongoing process of going through old work. I remember how much fun I had while creating them. Just digital doodling without a care in the world.

^{blood anger}

^{multi burst}

^{grey nightmare}

^{indigo ache}

I haven't made music in a long time but there was a time when I would just sample stuff I liked, in this case, creepy-ass Dexter Morgan and just put it over some loops that I thought were hot.

I miss those days. I might just gotta fire up Reason for old time's sake.

As much as I enjoy the physical exertion and effort of weight training, I've discovered I have a particular affinity for yoga. This is not to say I'm good at it, but in the time I've begun to practice, I've gained a deep appreciation for the different types of focus each requires. Lifting heavy objects is a slow and steady progression to increase, while I find yoga is indispensable in discovering and addressing areas of stress and tension with a commitment to accepting them and working within them. Both are intense but in wholly different ways.

I wrote some time ago about my particular struggles with gentleness and how my journey with it has been... complicated. The intensity of getting to where I am is often a metal-on-metal experience. I find it has often been a grating, jarring experience where progress at times is only made through sheer force of will. I find myself less proud of this the more I consider it and most importantly the results.

Don't get me wrong. I appreciate the lessons in toughness and the perseverance it has taught me. But as I'm realizing with my yoga practice, I'm realizing there is another way to progress to being what you want to be that doesn't have to be so severe. I'm realizing I've fallen into a pattern of needing my milestones to be marked by suffering and pain.

In a society marked by its violent reinforcement of sexism and racism daily, this context is often celebrated and even encouraged. The path to progress is always one based on blood, sweat, and fears. Always gotta be on the hustle even if your body is screaming it's about to break. Ha, the sign your body is about to give out is supposed to be a sign you're "working hard".

On a macro level, we see the constant and devastating results of consistently existing in a state of distress and on the edge of collapse. It is clear that we as people are simply not meant to live this way.

But on a more personal level, I just don't want to be that way. I want to embrace the complexity of being a person that gives space to explore the human condition in a way that is conducive to becoming whole rather than being able to sustain jumping from crisis to crisis. I don't think the careful management of decline while ignoring the reasons for it is something to be celebrated. Growth is always an intense process but it is myopic to believe it always has to be so brutal.

Ha, I realize it can be taboo for a man, a Black one especially to openly express their desire to be gentle and nurturing. Growing up how I grew up, that's a role that a man is just not supposed to occupy. I however don't want to be a man, a person simply known for their ability to navigate bare-knuckle situations. I want my community to know, that yes while I do have an edge that can be deployed when appropriate, I can also be gentle, loving, empathetic, and understanding. I can be a person who is unafraid and unashamed of showing the areas of my personality that exist outside of the bigoted narratives we are taught. I am capable of expressing the meaningful parts of myself in a myriad of ways and they are all authentic.

Now do I know how to get there? Ha, no, not at all. But I didn't know how I do crow pose when I first began my yoga practice either. And I didn't get there by being harsh and unforgiving as I learned how.

(Yes, I'm very proud of my crow.)

It's that time of year again. The indomitable Black History Month where some of us pay homage to the obvious nation-building and sustaining contributions that Black Americans have made to a country that routinely tells us it doesn't like us despite the fact it would not exist without us.

Others, well...

Ok, let's start with some context.

Professionally, I am a graphic designer and web developer. I don't dig on full-time jobs because the environment is often hostile to computer people with melanin, so I tend to work off-site contracts and freelance gigs. For the most part, it's great. I've been fortunate enough to be able to do this to feed myself for 20+ years. Ha, yes I'm old. Pay attention.

On the other hand, there are moments when I struggle at moments to find work for various reasons. Some of course are self-inflicted. Others, not so much. There are persistent realities there are always at play in the American job market, especially in the tech scene. And this context never goes away. Ever.

It's this context that always has me skeptically tip-toeing into yet another BHM. There's a lot of lip service being paid to recognizing the lives of Black Americans but it rarely works out in any meaningful or substantial way. Sure we get kente themed overpriced watches but what about the rest of the year? We see all of the pomp and circumstance of 'honoring' Black America while doing nothing to follow through in any way that matters.

Yeah, it's cool to see public assertations of BLACK LIVES MATTER (well, kinda) and seeing all the black, red, and green adorn... stuff.

But over time, it becomes really clear who is cosplaying respect for the incalculable and invaluable efforts Black people have made and continue to make to keep the US from destroying itself and who is about the work making the world a better place for Black folks to exist in.

Because no matter what people say on shiny TVs and mobile screens, we really haven't moved the needle all that much. No amount of 'celebrating' Black History Month can erase the objective reality of how hard it is to be Black in the United States.

But yeah, seeing a few more people wearing t-shirts with fists on them is kinda cool, I guess.

As much as I don't enjoy the experience on Instagram, I must admit there are a plethora of creative people putting out compelling work with thoughtfulness and style. It's cool seeing how creative people are and how they are expressing it.

A new creative I've come across recently goes by the name of Yung Pueblo. He styles himself as a mediator, writer, and speaker and I find a lot of his work intriguing because he focuses on being a complete person, not just for the sake of self but for the community around you as well. As a person that relentlessly pursues personal growth, this grabs my attention.

Recently, he dropped a post that contained a rather striking line that sent me to that weird and quiet internal place I have reserved for contemplation. That last sentence Being in a relationship with a high degree of authenticity and gentleness allows both people to bring down their guards and feel at home.

Yeah. That shit.

This struck a chord with me because in my persistent quest to discover my best self, I'm realizing I have not gotten to where I am by being gentle with myself. The authenticity part isn't that hard because coming from a conservative and very religious family and learned very early in life that my honesty is a by-product of my desire to survive. Keeping it real sounds cool but it's not an option when you're trying to find who you are and preserve it, you know?

But gentleness. That's a tough one.

Because it wasn't gentleness that got me through dealing with the constant trauma of physical abuse when I was a child from the same people that allegedly loved me and had my best interests at heart.

It wasn't gentleness that gave me the ability to survive in one of the most competitive labor markets in the world and often have to go without to do it.

And gentleness wasn't really a part of how I recovered from the heartbreak of being taken for granted by the person I loved the most. And having to deal with that fallout alone.

I'm at the big age now where I can recognize that, of course, I probably (probably) did not resolve these situations in the most healthy of ways and I need to spend some time addressing that.

But doing that with tools that are gentle, comforting, and affirming seems almost unnatural to me. Because gentleness isn't how I survived.

However, I'm realizing perhaps experiencing life consistently from a place beyond mere surviving also means realizing the tools you used to survive have their limits.

And surviving and healing are two different galaxies.

This is one of the greatest things I've ever heard.

Durex was a client of Iris Worldwide and they were looking to roll out a new initiative to advertise some new products they had rolling out. The site was meant to be a one-pager that promoted sexual health with a bit of fun and humor.

Process

While the site itself was pretty simple, it was a priority to make it fun and a bit of an interactive experience to promote people exploring all of the information it was presenting.

After a few discussions with the creative team, it was decided that the site would change its state depending on what information was visible at the time. This required the site to be aware of what points were being read and then change UI accordingly. Durex provided the images and videos and I was responsible for executing the design.

This one was a fun project because we checked in with Durex as development went along to make sure we were on track and they were a lot of fun to work with.

When the site was completed, it was sent to Durex for final approval and then launched.

Tools/Frameworks

This one relied on the good ole web standards of HTML, Common Javascript, and hand-coded CSS. The video was embedded using a custom HTML5 web player.

^{get closer index}

^{get closer flirting}

^{get closer date night}

^{get closer foreplay}

^{get closer sexplore}

^{get closer sexperts}

After the overall success of the BMW project, I was invited back to lead the front-end development for KBSP's company site refresh. The goal was to make an interactive piece showcasing all of the wonderfully weird people that worked at the agency as well as a few case studies of their high-profile clients.

Process

I joined the effort after the direction for the new site had been defined and headshots for the entire company were in progress. Every employee was given a list of questions which they were encouraged to adlib to show a broader range of their personalities.

While those assets were being gathered, it was my role to create the front end that would accommodate the aforementioned assets into a cohesive and smooth experience based on the already created direction.

To accomplish this, I worked with the development lead to define a backend data structure that would store the data as it was being created. Having this in place allowed me to work while information and assets were still being gathered.

I had periodic meetings with the creative team to keep us all on the same page and to make sure it was going in the direction they envisioned.

Once the front end was completed, it was tested company-wide to reveal any inconsistencies and bugs. Once all issues had been dealt with, it launched.

Tools/Frameworks

The backend was built using PHP with a MySQL datastore. Data from the backend was delivered to the front end using XML.

The front end was a Flash-based component built using the Flex framework.

^index

^{client index}

BMW was looking to bring some attention to their X-6 and M-Series product lines by creating an interactive demo showcasing some of the interesting features of the vehicle. They contracted KBSP (now Forman and Bodenfors) to conceptualize and build two sites to accomplish this. I was retained to assist in executing some key interactive features.

Process

After a handle of meetings with BMW to establish project goals, the designs were created to match the experience that they wanted. My part in the process began after the designs were completed and handed off to the development team.

My first task at KBSP was to build the X-6 exploratory interactive site, which highlighted several key features of the vehicle through a test lap concept. The site showed several rooms with an emphasis on specific details, i.e aerodynamic design, brake systems, electronics, etc. The idea was to show several 'researchers' mulling over details and when they were selected, the room they occupied was brought into focus and the information in that section was revealed. The trick was to make sure there were at least 3 scientists in every room and that they didn't overlap. Very fun stuff.

My second task was to build the M-Technology information site to do a deep dive into what made their M-Series vehicles unique. The idea behind this one was to show a rendered version of the car speeding around a track and depending on where one clicked, it would show an exploded animated view of a specific M feature, i.e. body structure, suspension, headlights, etc. This one was a challenge because it consisted of managing a lot of video assets at once so the transitions appeared seamless but it was a blast to work on.

Once these components were built, they were tested and then shown to BMW for final approval.

BMW was so pleased with the results of the project, I was invited to lead front-end development on KBSP's company site.

Tools/Frameworks

The backend was built with PHP to handle data delivery to the front end. An API was built all the frontend to request data from the MySQL datastore and display the results.

The front end was a custom scripted Flash component that handled all video and audio assets.

^{BMW USA index}

^{technology index}

^{BMW X-6 tech lab landing}

^{BMW M-Technology index}

Are0h is a phonetic spelling of my nickname, Ro. The zero is a shout-out to my love of tech.

You're a tech person, huh?

I could say something super fancy and esoteric about my motivations and why I am into the things that I'm into, but to be honest, it's not complicated.

I just like to create. A lot.

I like using colors, shapes, and typography as well as functions and arrays to build out ideas. My favorite kinds of projects are when I can use both my design and programming skills to bring compelling, interactive, and most importantly fun experiences to life.

I have used these skills over the last 20 or so years to work for all kinds of clients such as BMW, TOTA, and Bassey Ikpi to name a few.

When I'm not doing client work, I'm always just trying to make the internet a slightly better place.

Talk about the services you provide.

Whew, ok. Let's break it down into buckets.

Graphic Design

My first love has always been designing, from print work, branding, and the web, I've helping companies and people turn their ideas into tangible realities for as long as I can remember. I've used a host of software over the years like Adobe's Creative Stuff, Pixelmator, Graphic, Figma, Sketch, etc. Haha, I'm not above breaking out pencil and paper and just sketching it out.

Web Development

My drive to create is what motivated me to get into programming so I could bring my designs to life on the web.

I started as an interactive with Actionscript (I know, RIP) and that experience blossomed into learning Javascript, PHP, NodeJs, and even a bit of Ruby. I like building super lean code so I tend to stay away from frameworks, but when I do use them, I don't mind front-end frameworks like React and Vue and on the backend, I love ExpressJS and when I'm using PHP, Symfony is a gorgeous solution.

And of course, you can't do backend work without understanding datastores, so I like using, PostgreSQL, MySQL, and the scrappy Mongo. Ha, admittedly, I'm partial to Postgres. It's just so easy to use.

System Administration

I don't like using third-party services (yeah, I'm THAT person) so I've spent quite a bit of time honing my server environment setup and maintenance skills as well.

I'm a Linux person that prefers Ubuntu or Debian as my operating system for web environments and I go with Apache or Nginx to serve sites. From here, I build custom environments according to the needs of the project. Just give an empty server with some space and I'll get it up and running. And, more importantly, I know how to fix it if something explodes.

Strategy and consulting

I've been building sites end to end for about a decade and a half now, so I am expertly familiar with the process end to end.

On the front-end, I can not only tell how to build a compelling UI and a fun UX but which tools can help you achieve a desirable result. I am comfortable with owning that process from ideation, wireframing, designing, and then implementation.

With years of experience figuring out the specific needs of clients, I am well-versed in building scalable strategies that make the development process manageable and smooth. I can identify trouble areas before they become serious issues that hinder the growth and progress of a project. Ha, I've seen a lot of stuff break, so I can help you not to that.

What else are you into?

Ha, so many things. I love video games, anime, great television, and reading. Wellness has been a big interest as of late, so I really enjoy lifting heavy objects on a regular basis. And I probably think way too much, but it's my thing.

On the good days, I can see it. Off in the distance. Sometimes. Existing in a country that doesn't give a flying fuck about its citizens, it's easy to lose sight of yourself and what you want to accomplish. But, you know, sometimes.

Sometimes, it's just a matter of degrees. The ticks between the person I am and the person I could be; the person I can be. The person that can accept the complexities of people without having to dive into a frantic dash to figure them out so I can feel safe. A being that doesn't burn so much energy every day considering the worst possible scenarios with the people around me so I can be prepared. A human that does not interrogate any affirming proclamations to see how false and impermanent they are. Because they have to be, right?

No, I'm not always like this. I'm not always an inmate in my own personal constructed surveillance state. I don't always exist in a state of constant vigilance, trying to predict threats before they happen. Sometimes, I can make a different decision.

But sometimes, I find the pull of my insecurities and trauma to be gravitational, irresistible in its consistency. And it pulls me into old patterns of crisis, where I over-compensate and set up boundaries wrapped in barb-wire. I don't do what I know is healthy. I do what I know works. I've had a lot of practice recovering from catastrophe and there's a specific comfort in that.

I can often see the person that has put these behaviors away. The person that doesn't need to police themselves in such a way that defines how they interact with other people. The person that can just exist in what they are because they know they are enough. More than.

I can see them waiting patiently, lovingly encouraging keep going. Because that person is me. But sometimes, I lose of that. And my challenge is to figure out why.

To be continued

But you are not. You need rest, food, water, sleep, and (when you can get it, LOL) love and affection. Your wellness should never ever take a back seat to the needs you have as a thinking, living, breathing human being.

So while I am very grateful you are reading this entry, I want you to close this tab right now and go get some water and/or some food if you are hungry. Go watch something that brings you joy (I recommend this, but I'm into dark shit so use your best judgement, haha). And tell someone that you really dig them.

Get your rest, beloveds. You're worth it. Verily.

r.

Fipamo began as a personal project because I wanted to consolidate all of the code I had been using to blog into a cohesive package so I could stop duct-taping solutions together. As it came together, I decided to make it an official project and it will serve as the base for a new social media experience. It is open-source and available for anyone to use.

And its core, it's a database-less interactive markdown editor that exports good old HTML, javascript, and CSS that can be hosted anywhere one chooses.

Process

Creating Fipamo was a unique experience because it was born from a need to consolidate code from various projects into a single package. A big part of accomplishing this was identifying the basic features of a blog, i.e. creating/editing/deleting pages, managing assets, publishing, etc, and then finding what pre-existing code I had that accomplished this. If that code wasn't adequate or didn't exist, I created it.

Once basic functionality was in place, a frontend was needed to interact with the system. I mined my previous experience with building UIs and started with a basic wireframe to make sure all necessary pages were accounted for. After that design comps were created to leverage the backend system to be created. The primary goals for the UI were to be simple, clean, and accessible without being boring. The UX needed to be snappy but not overwhelming so users know what is happening in an informative but fun way.

Once the front end was coupled with the backend, the basic features were tested and the first version of the beta was released.

Tools/Frameworks

The backend is created with the PHP-based Slim Framework. A combination of Markdown and JSON files is being used as datastores to eliminate the formal need for a database. Twig is used for front-end templating and ES6 Javascript compiled with ParcelJS for custom scripting. CSS preprocessor SASS (Dart) is used to handle styling.

^{index 1}

^{index 2}

^{dashboard index 1}

^{dashboard index 2}

^{pages index}

^{page editor}

^{settings index}

TOTA (short for Traditions of the ancestors) was a massive effort by a distributed team across several states to build a site that attempts to bring people together by exploring our respective cultures and have those exchanges curated by people from the cultures being discussed.

I was part of a 10 person development team that performed several roles. I was a consultant for my social media experience, I was responsible for conceptualizing and building new features as well as making suggestions/improvements to the existing codebase. As a senior-level dev, I also provided guidance and expertise where it was appropriate.

Process

After the initial onboarding process, my initial tasks were identifying trouble areas in the codebase and providing solutions to stabilize the project as preparation for the implementation of new features.

My primary task was to implement new features, the most prominent being a media manager intended to enable users to keep track of assets uploaded and a discussion board to facilitate conversations between site members.

The process for creating new features began with creating a spec document detailing component-specific functionality and methodology. This document was then discussed by the team to identify trouble spots and further refinement.

Once this was completed, I began the process of building the new components into the code base as well as editing database structures to account for the changes. Once the features were built, they were reviewed and tested by the team to locate any issues so they could be fixed. When the issues were resolved, they were then added to the production codebase and released on the live server.

My secondary task was providing my social management expertise to help shape engagement policy for the platform, with the primary priority being safety for members and creating a methodology for isolating and eliminating bad actors.

Tools/Frameworks

The project stack consisted of NodeJS, with a custom scripted Common JS frontend. MySQL was used as the main data store to house site information i.e. user information, discussions, articles, etc. I implemented Sequelize into the codebase to make interaction with the database easier and less convoluted. Page templating was handled with EJS and CSS pre-processor LESS was used to handle site-wide styling.

^index

^{index 2}

^{cultures landing}

^{groups landing}

^{groups landing 2}

^{discussions landing}

^{discussion topic landing}

^{member media listing}

^{member media metadata editing}

The client is a registered nurse in Charm City (that's Baltimore, home town) that was looking for a site that combined her profession of caregiving and her love of traveling to give insights on how caregivers such as herself can use traveling to recharge and maintain their mental health.

Process

The effort began by having a few strategy sessions discussing goals and the desired look and feel for the site. A few examples were offered and discussed while I began the wireframe process to ensure all pages were accounted for.

Once a design direction was agreed upon, I initiated the process of creating the design based on the aforementioned conversations. After the initial design was completed, we then when through several rounds refining the look until the tone met the client's expectations.

With the design completed, the next phase was development. The client wanted to be able to update the site independently, so I decided to go with a heavily customized pre-existing solution.

Once the site was built, it was tested to ensure stability, and then the client was given direction on its use. Once the client was comfortable, the site went live.

Tools/Frameworks

I used a combination of Pixelmator and Sketch to handle wireframing and design. Ghost was used as the base for the development effort and I designed a custom front end using its existing templating system. The front end was coded with ES6 javascript and compiled with ParcelJS. CSS styling was handled using Stylus.

^index

^{index menu}

^{blog listing}

^{content page 1}

^{content page 2 content page 3}

The University of Belize was looking to modernize its backlog of school catalogs and needed some fresh ideas. The new materials had to be viable both digitally and through traditional print, so they could be deployed online and in person.

Process

Gathering assets was the initial priority of the project. Text from the old catalogs had to be manually inputted into text documents (fortunately not handled by me, ha) so they could be edited. Images also had to be scanned into digital assets to be used with modern layout programs. My role in this process was to consult to strategize a process to maximize image quality.

Once assets were gathered, it was time for the layout template to be created. The catalog had to be clean and easy to read while adhering to the school's colors without being overwhelming. The type needed to be legible but not completely static to subtly add to the flow and feel of the page.

After several rounds of layout options, the layout was finalized and then sent to a printer to test the final product.

The final was delivered as a PDF to be stored digitally.

Tools/Frameworks

Image editing was handled between Photoshop and Pixelmator. The design and layout of the PDF were handled using Graphic, a vector-based illustration software suite.

^cover

^{table of contents}

^{section intro}

^{faculty data 1}

^{faculty data 2}

^quote

The purpose of Nah B was to create an online resource for young adults to navigate the challenges of abusive and toxic relationships and to exit them healthily and sustainably. It also provided a space for survivors to share their stories to combat the loneliness of that experience.

Process

After having a few strategy discussions about project priorities, the direction of the site had to be easy to use and maintain. The site was distilled into only the most necessary pages, supported by streamlined features.

After a short wireframing process, the UI design phase was used to produce the look and feel of the application, focusing on the priorities established in the strategy sessions.

The comps from the design phase were then used to build the front end, which was then coupled with a modified version of a preexisting CMS to make site maintenance and familiar and stable process.

After a few sessions to get the client comfortable with the management process, it went live.

Tools/Frameworks

The site was built using a highly customized version of Ghost, a NodeJS based content management solution, which leveraged the onboard API to move data (hosted in MySQL) from the backend to the frontend. The front end was scripted using ES6 javascript and compiled with Grunt. The site is hosted by Ubuntu and served using Nginx.

^{index index mission store product display settings for privacy and descriptions}

The goal of this project was to create a platform that would empower independent creatives to share and manage and of course, sell their work online.

Another priority for the project was to create a creative community around the work itself, giving patrons the ability to not only support creators but discuss and easily share work they are inspired by as well and purchase their favorites.

Process

The project began by disseminating project goals into a tangible feature list. This list was then applied to a series of wireframes to see create a visual scaffolding to see how these features worked together as well as to ensure all site pages were accounted for.

The wireframes were then used to guide the design of the UI/UX experience, which was completed by producing a series of comps according to the aforementioned wireframes. This was an iterative process to make sure the site aligned with the client's goals.

With the design done, it was time to build. This was broken up into two parts: the backend and then the frontend. The backend was created first and then the front end was coded to leverage the features provided by the front end.

After those two components were built, it was time for testing and then getting ready for deployment.

Unfortunately, the MVP was never released due to budget concerns, but the codebase can be seen here.

Tools/Frameworks

The infrastructure of the site consisted of a NodeJS backend, Pug(formerly Jade) to handle page templating, and Mongo as a datastore. The frontend was custom scripted with ES6 Javascript, compiled with Grunt.

^{index 1 index 2 user profile 1 user profile 2 product add comment product description}

The Project

Bassey Ikpi is a multi-talented creative that needed a logo for a project she wanted to get off the ground that showcases her work, thoughts, ideas, etc.

The goal was to create something distinctive, unique but wholly approachable that could be used on virtually anything.

Process

Ms. Ikpi asked me to help her conceptualize a brand that was simple and easy to understand but was expressive in a way that related to her demeanor and posture as an artist and writer.

The new branding would be text-based, so I began the process by digging into some typefaces that I thought would serve as a solid base. Once a typeface was selected, I experimented with letterforms to make the type visually interesting while remaining legible and easy to identify. The final result was distinctive and memorable without being overwhelming.

Tools/Frameworks

I primarily stuck with vector-based software tools, floating between Graphic and Illustrator. For stickier design challenges, I broke out pen and paper, the old faithful. The final result was delivered in EPS format to give the client as much flexibility as possible without losing resolution.

^{base colors}

^{alternate colors}

^{layout experiment}

Man... it was a hard road, but I fucking did it. Ha, yeah it took awhile but I got it done.

It's not perfect and it might not ever be, but it's here.

I'm not gonna cry. I'm not gonna cry.